Bipolar
by sockwantstodie
Summary: [Henry Bowers x Genderless Reader] It was just gonna be another late night of barely any sleep and a bunch of time to think about absolutely nothing. Or at least it seemed that way before Henry showed up at my window in the middle of a meltdown.
1. it's been a long night

p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"em style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Why can't I think about something intelligent to think about on nights like this? Isn't this supposed to be some sort of thinking time or whatever?/em/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"The moonlight streams in through the shades making my head spin as my foggy brain tries to figure out what time it is. Curling up around the pillow that I held so close, I squeeze it tightly; before willing myself to change positions for what seems to be the thousandth time in the past few minutes. After rolling over and letting go of the pillow, I kick the covers off of my body leaving them in the dust. I flop over onto my stomach and softly clear my throat before sliding my arms up so they could hook together underneath my pillow. With a turn of my head, I help myself to continue breathing in cold air. I absent-mindedly draw my tongue over my dry lips, trying to wet them. But, since my entire mouth was really dry, it didn't necessarily do much. So I tried again before giving up entirely. For I was too internally wired, and too externally tired, and not willing to waste energy on keeping myself awake with that shit./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"My eyes crack open and immediately land on the [color] clock that sat atop my nightstand. Squinting through the blurriness, I skim along with the digitized lettering and numbers. Mentally, I read out "/spanspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: bold; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"em style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Sunday/em/spanspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"" along with today's date which was right beside it; the two are separated by a thin, dark green line. Beneath it, "/spanspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: bold; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"em style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"11:57 p.m./em/spanspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"" was situated directly underneath both of those bits of information. Although, the numbers and "p.m." were in a slightly bigger font—though separated by the same thin, dark green line, only horizontal./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Sometimes, I'd be able to swear up and down that the numbers can make just about anybody itch to see them change at literally any second. Or maybe it's just the constant exhaustion that makes me itch so much? Or maybe I was just like that? Is it weird that I wanna see them change? Maybe it was just a personal thing/spanspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"—/spanspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"or something that pokes and prods you ever so slightly? I don't know. Maybe it's/spanspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"—/span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"As the numbers change to 11:58, I fall deeper into the fog of my thoughtful haze. Finally tearing my eyes off of the clock, I bury my face into the pillow and cover my ears with the sides of it. Releasing a frustrated sigh, I squeeze my eyes shut as tightly as I can manage and inwardly scream. Now was not the time to think, now was the time to pass the fuck out./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"After briefly considering going to take some more NyQuil and maybe a few melatonin tabs, I fall into the feeling of floating as I exhaustion finally starts to cloud my senses and my head, leaving me almost dizzy on the inside.../span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Tap, tap, tap,/span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"I could've sworn I was almost asleep by the time my ear twitched at a familiar sound of tapping on my window. That little bit of noise is enough to wake my body back up—but not my brain. My brain was still dizzy because I was still drugged up from the heavy dose of NyQuil that /spanem style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"maybe/emspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;" wasn't the greatest good idea out there to go through with. Weak and sleepy, I discarded the noise and set to trying to quiet my body back down again. /span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"And as the quiet quickly settled again, more tapping came to fruition—to bug me and eventually force me out of bed./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Tap, tap, tap,/span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"It had gotten louder, more aggressive. Someone really wanted to be let in—or maybe the tree was angry that I hadn't gotten up to check on it. That'd be a riot./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Tap, tap, tap,/span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"My eyes finally cracked open and my vision was still blurry from exhaustion. Part of me actually started to hope that none of the guys would be visiting at this hour and that it was just that /spanem style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"one/emspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;" branch from that/spanem style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;" one/emspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;" big oak tree on my front lawn./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Tap, tap, tap,/span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Tap, tap, tap, tap,/span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: bold; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"em style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Tap. Tap. Tap./em/span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Autopilot kicks in and sends my internal machine whirring to life. I move my arms and set a hand down on the mattress to push myself upright. The bleariness of my vision loses meaning as I swing my legs over my bed and scoot off of it. As my feet touch the wooden floor below, it only registers in my head but I don't have any energy to react. The tapping was rather aggressive now, and I was pretty damn sure that the window was going to crack if I allowed it to go on any longer./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"I stumble at first when I stand and start to walk over to my window. My bones creak and shift as I move, and my feet crack at every other step. Nothing was ready to work. /spanem style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Nothing/emspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"I rub my eyes at the last second and almost fall against my window. After just barely catching myself on it, I brush the curtains aside. The tapping abruptly stops as the light from the streetlights outside assault my face full-on. I squint to see what I'm doing. And so, with a swift and fluid motion, I raise my opposite hand and push the latch open. /span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"em style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"CLICK/em/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"I don't bother to pay attention to who is out there since I can't seem to focus my eyes long enough. But I do my best to plant my feet well enough so that I could join in on pushing my window up. It slides up with a bit of effort and when the person outside gets the chance, they hook their fingers underneath the bottom and force the window up at a much faster pace. I have to catch myself on the windowsill and come face to face with the figure that was behind my window./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;""Move." A gruff voice says/span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"I do as I'm asked by getting shoved to the side. After managing to almost trip over a discarded shirt, I steady myself as the now familiar figure practically throws themselves into my room. They tumble to the ground and flop around like a fish out of water for a brief moment. As I process the loud noises, it occurs to me that 'oh shit, I have parents!' Quickly, I lean down with a finger pressing against my lips. I shush the figure to remind him that I don't live alone and even though my parents don't care, I'd still rather not deal with them. Just because Male Parental Unit worked nights, doesn't mean that the Female Parental Unit wasn't home and couldn't wake up to come in and be petty and sour./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Without giving him time to reply and be angry about me "ordering him around", I make the attempt to help him up. But, of course, my hands are almost instantaneously swatted away the second that my fingers curl around the silhouette's hard bicep./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;""Don't /spanspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"—/spanem style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;" Don't fuckin' touch me!/emspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;" " The voice of Henry hisses at me/span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"I back off as per the request of my lovely guest and instead return to my original position of standing. If there was enough light over in this spot of my room, then I could show off the fact that I probably look as corpse-like as I feel. Leaving my arms at my sides so I could put my hands into my pockets, my posture worsens. Although I'm still tired and confused, I know enough subconsciously to wait for the silhouette—that I now knew to be /spanem style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Henry/emspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"—as he jumped up to his feet. Quickly, Henry whips around and suddenly the smell of sweat and boisterous B.O. rapes my nostrils as he turns around to my window in order to shut it /spanspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: bold; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"(/spanspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"rather harshly, might I add/spanspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: bold; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;") /spanspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"And the smell makes my already dizzy head spin even more and my face scrunch up like Henry. But, I still reflexively tear my hands out of my pockets and stick my arms out as I hiss out a quieting "shh!"/span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Henry visibly tenses up when I shush him and in response, he swiftly spins around. His right-hand stays gripping the dusty top of my window in a death grip while his left hand balling up into a tight fist that shakes from the tightness of his hold. Henry makes sure that he glares something fierce at me with knitted eyebrows and a harsh sneer. While I just watch him with a completely blank face, eyes flickering from place to place. His chestnut brown hair looks like it's messier than usual and he looked a little red from the little bit of light touching his face./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Sure, Henry's face always gets red whenever he's mad, I know that. But, if the moonlight coming in from the window was right, this shade was more of a rosy red rather than his usual angry firetruck red. Curiously, I keep on staring at him, noticing things here and there as I scanned his form. Things like how it wasn't just his balled-up fist that was shaking like a broken washing machine, but rather, his entire body. And Henry never shakes that hard, no matter how angry he gets./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;""Henry–" I say, racking my brain for words "It's late. What–"/span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;""Shut up." Henry interrupts/span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Watching him begrudgingly releasing my window, practically leaving claw marks when he drags his hand away, does its best to wake me up. Then before I can stop it, a yawn leaves my mouth before I finally stuff my hands back into my warm pajama pants pockets. I click my tongue a couple of times as I stall by trying to gather some sort of moisture in my dry mouth—without any luck, mind you. /span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"His hard, shaky breaths register in my head as we stare at each other and I finally say something./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;""What are you even doing in my house?" I ask, almost solemnly "It's like, so late."/span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"For once, Henry doesn't even bother with giving me some kind of response. Nope. Instead, Henry just turns back around and reaches up, grabbing a fistful of my curtains so he could tug them back across the handle. And before I can realize it, everything in my room is once again cloaked in darkness./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Well, /spanem style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"almost/emspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;". My blinds weren't /spanem style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"that /emspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"good./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Silently eyeing him and patiently waiting, I watch his tense shoulders finally slump into a more lax position. I watch how they occasionally bounce as Henry brings a hand up to his mouth. I watch as he stands beside my window, his form shaky and his stance unsteady as he wraps his other arm around himself. And as I find myself listening to his heavy hyperventilating whilst it slowly calms, I find myself tapping my foot to the beats of his breathing. Patiently waiting for a damning comment to be fired at me for staring at him/spanspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"—/spanspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"or maybe even for the way I stand so awkwardly or how I radiate energy that was similar to that of a corpse./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"But nothing comes./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"em style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Nothing./em/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"All that comes through the screaming silence around us, are soft sniffles paired with the occasional choked hiccup. I tilt my head as Henry's head lifts from where it hung so low. Immediately, I stop tapping, leaving the ringing to grow even louder than it already is. His blue-gray eyes stare at me in the dark, I can't see them all that well/spanspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"—/spanspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"but I can feel them. Henry's gaze was always specific like that. His dad was the same way as fucking gross as that man is./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Henry suddenly lifts a single arm to reach behind his head, to scratch an itchy spot on his/spanspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"—/spanspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"probably/spanspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"—/spanspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"dry head. I free a single hand from one of my pockets subconsciously to cover up my nose as the stench of Henry's bad decisions finally urges a headache to begin buzzing inside my skull. Suddenly, the quiet crackles as Henry's raspy voice box attempt to make a big boy sound in tune with his mouth/spanspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"—/spanspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"and he stutters out a couple of scratchy letters before clearing his throat. /span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;""I need to stay for a little bit." He tells me, his tone scarily soft "Don't have a cow or anything."/span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"It was little at first, an eyebrow cocking and my face scrunching up in tired confusion. Of course, I wasn't processing any of this. But at least my initial drunken haze courtesy of some NyQuil and a random mixture of sleeping pills was finally starting to fade, so it made it a little bit easier to coexist with the weirdly standoffish Henry that stood by my window./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"I rack my brain, piecing together the sentence that I wanted to use./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;""Why would I have a cow?" I ask, lamely/span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;""Just/spanspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"–/spanspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"" Henry sucks in an abrupt breath as his voice cracks "Just don't, okay?"/span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Something begins to stir inside me as Henry shuffles away from the window and brushes past me. Reflexively, I remove my hand from my nose and reach out to touch him. I don't know what exactly I'm doing, maybe placing a hand on his shoulder or something dumb like that? Either way, I fail to catch him because Henry is too quick and I'm too stupid to understand what the hell I'm doing. Turning, my front half follows him on his journey as he stumbles 'round in the dark of my room. The occasional bumps and thumps are the only things that let me that this isn't Henry's ghost or something/span span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"because his footsteps are so soft, almost silent. Which is something that I had never noticed about him; how light-footed he was./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Henry stops in the place between my bed and my nightstand and I watch and listen as he fumbles around. Clumsily, he knocks my lamp right off of my nightstand and I once again shush him as he barely catches the damn thing. Henry cusses and hisses to himself, ignoring my shushing as he places it back in its usual place/spanspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"—/spanspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"which is /spanspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"anywhere that's not on the floor. Henry tugs the cord down and the click resonates in my head for a moment. I didn't manage to process what he was doing until the damage was done. Instantaneously, I groan in displeasure and with a wince, I turn my head away from the light assaulting my vision. I bring my arm up to cover my eyes, doing my best to blink away the pain so that I could finally see the room around me. I mean, sure, it took a few minutes more than it should've. But, I still managed to stare into the room without my eyes stinging and aching at some point./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"The pain dissolves but returns a little bit softer when I move my arm away. Blinking away the sting to the best of my ability, I watch through a slideshow as Henry straightens up and struggles to roll his damaged shoulders; before I'm finally able to catch a full glimpse of Derry's very own local neighborhood skull-smasher. For the very first time in what felt like years, Henry didn't have some sort of jacket on. Nor a long sleeve or short sleeve shirt for that matter. And seeing what I see now because of that fact makes me feel sick, like an 'I can't throw up right now but just know that I would if I could,' kind of sick. /span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"My mental response takes a bit longer than my physical one./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Taking my other hand out of my pocket, I take a step forward, hesitantly extending my limp arms out to him. Even though I knew I was basically poking a bear when I did it, I couldn't help what fell out of my mouth at that moment./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;""Hen...ry..?" I question, sounding more like I was unsure of the person standing in front of me/span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Henry refused to turn around and look at me./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"I can't make anything click. I can't make myself focus long enough to fully grasp the concept of what I'm seeing. Cause every time I try, my head gets all fuzzy and my eyes cross, showing me more versions of Henry with all that shit on their backs. I don't understand it./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Instead, I just watch as Henry's shoulders tense back up, threatening to aggravate some of his wounds. Which consist of varying bruises, welts, burns, cuts, and scars that litter his back and his arms. Even though most of the mess is belt-buckle shaped bruises and welts with the imprint of the buckle usually at the end. Some are just lone bruises, though, ugly ones/spanspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"—/spanspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"the lot of them. And despite them being different sizes and shapes, the color scheme was generally the same. While some of them were fresh, colored black and purple and blue, others were brown and yellow. It really helped compliment the little burn marks decorating his arms as he finally turned his head to look at me. Slowly, his body twists after his head, bringing light to the large cluster of red lines that decorated his shoulders before spreading out as they ventured down his arm. He also had a large bruise on his ribs, which was about the size of a tennis ball./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Henry's blue-green eyes are glassy when he finally looks back at me. Fresh tears trickled down his cheeks as he watches me with gritted teeth; his face is riddled with embarrassment and shame. The look reminding me of a wounded animal begging me to help it./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;""Don't have a cow." He grumbles out, his voice weakly crackling/span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"He slowly turns himself back around to look down at my nightstand. Quietly, he brought his hands back up to his upper arms as he let out a gruff sniffle./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Don't have a cow? Don't have a cow?!/span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"I honestly couldn't believe it! This boy standing before me now was not the Henry Bowers I grew up with! This was not the ruthless monster that terrorized random kids throughout Derry, Maine every single day in order to release his clearly pent up rage. This boy standing before me now-this was a mere stranger. This wasn't my Henry. This wasn't The Great and Terrible Henry Scott Bowers /spanem style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"I/emspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;" knew./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;""I just need a place to stay the night." He continues, his voice still cracking "Your place was the closest besides Vic's. But I can't let the guys see me like this."/span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"I stay rooted to my spot, completely frozen in place whilst Henry explains himself. It was kinda scary how he didn't bother to mask any of the pure desperation that dripped off of his words./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Henry. Motherfucking. Bowers. A menace to society, a bully, a monster, a psychopath, currently standing beside my bed, in front of my nightstand, shaking in his boots like a little boy lost in the cold, dark woods. Shit, something awful must've happened to mess him up this good./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"But what?/span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"I blink owlishly before glancing down at the floor beneath me and then back up at him. I watch him as he tries to busy himself with looking over the various neatly framed pictures and posters I'd put up. Most of the posters were of my favorite rock bands, Iron Maiden, Anthrax, The Clash/spanspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"—/spanspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"which Belch had given me for my birthday last year/spanspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"—/spanspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"The Cult, and a couple of others. Meanwhile, the pictures were of me and some of my family. Although, most of them were of me and the guys. And I was sure that Henry had seen them all a million times before./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"But don't quote me on that./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Henry removes one hand from his arm and brings it up so that he could bite his nails as he turns around the room. I watch as he continues to visibly grow more and more anxious the more times he spins around in slow circles, his eyes moving from poster to picture and back again. Although, on the other hand, I did forget to give him an answer. I think. In my defense though, this was all very difficult to process./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"I had long since brought my extended arm back so that I could wrap my hand around my bicep. I quietly rub it as I try to figure out what to do and/or say, the frustration gradually building alongside my exhaustion as I find my thoughts endlessly spiraling in a downward tornado that descends through a fiery quicksand sinkhole that leads into Lower-Hell./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"I think my mom hugged me once when I was small? Is a hug gonna do something for him? Maybe calm him down? Or maybe that was just a dream? Was/spanspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"—/span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;""You gonna fuckin' say something or what?" Henry abruptly snaps, bringing me out of my daze "You keep fuckin' staring at me!"/span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"I feel myself snap out of my thoughtful daze and I straighten up, my hands dropping back into my pockets. Henry's baby blue drain of any weakness and go cold, warning me despite the tears that continued to trickle down his cheeks in a much more aggressive manner than before. Responsively, I tear my gaze away from him and instead choose to look at the floor./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;""Sorry, Henry." I apologize "I was thinking."/span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;""Yeah, sure." Henry scoffs "Fucking whatever."/span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Henry walks back over to pass me once again. Only this time, he makes sure to harshly bump shoulders with me. It was a simple action that managed to finally wake me up completely. I quickly shift over into my much more defensive persona, the one that sucked up any emotions that I still held within the slowly draining husk that I call a body./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"I turn to watch Henry after I finish steadying myself from my backward stumbling. I note how he harshly brushed my curtains aside, nearly tearing the rod down as he went to unlock my window and pull it back up./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;""Hey!" I exclaim, still trying to keep my voice down "Where are you going?"/span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;""Somewhere's else." He answers, short and bitter/span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;""What do you mean 'somewhere's else?'" I question, blankly/span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;""It doesn't fucking matter. Fucking forget it. Forget I fucking showed up. Forget it." He spits/span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"I run my hands through my hair, grasping it tightly, practically tearing it out as my skin is tugged upwards. I bring my hands back down, dragging the skin with it before putting my hands back down. I watch as Henry roughly fumbles with the lock in a fluster of tears and anger. He admittedly comes pretty damn near close to breaking the lock if not kicking a hole through my window as he fumbles to get it open. Autopilot kicks in once again and my legs finally unbuckle themselves. I/spanspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"—/spanspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"roughly, yet quietly/spanspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"—/spanspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"thunder over to him and with only two or three, possibly four steps and grab his upper arm./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"em style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"It's just like that time that the guys and I had to pull him off that freshman who bumped into him at Greta's big Halloween party last year/emspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;", I told myself, /spanem style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"I just gotta do what I did then/emspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Before Henry can once again recoil from my touch and beat me away with his wooden caveman stick whilst yelling various Ooga Booga's and Oouf's; I manage to get at least one good tug in to drag him away from my window./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;""Get off!" He exclaims/span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Henry gives me a harsh shove and manages to tear me off of him. Instinctively—or so I assume—he goes to throw a wild punch at me. I quickly respond to his attempts to kick my ass like I was one of the fucking Losers Club by swiftly releasing his arm and diving aside, barely managing to avoid his fist. Henry clumsily stumbles a couple of steps forward due to the force of his swing. His body trembles even harder than it had been before. Pathetically, he releases a few hiccups and sobs. Now that I was finally at a loss for what to do, I inwardly panicked./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"And you know what a bitch does when they panic./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Lamely, I spin around on my heels and fling myself at him, getting close enough to hook my arms around his neck. I just barely manage to not send both of us onto the floor and myself personally into a very long grounding that would barely even last two days due to inconsistency. Now, not wanting to look Henry in the eyes, I bury my face in his shoulder and do my best to ignore the disgusting aroma of sweat and pit stink that was strong enough to make my face crinkle up and my eyes water almost as much as Henry's were. Speaking of which, Henry honestly didn't even know what to do with this. So, he opted to place his hands on my hips-and eventually on my chest-unintentionally acting rather handsy as he struggles to push me off./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;""Get offa' me!" He demands "Fuckin' /spanem style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"get/em em style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"off!/emspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;""/span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Henry continues to repeat the phrase over and over again, the message growing distorted as the tone and the words being used rapidly adjusted as he began to slowly cave and grow weaker with his pushing./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Finally, Henry let his voice begin to crack once more/span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;""Just get off," He hiccups out "Please... let go."/span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Henry stays awkwardly hunched over thanks to my tight grip around his neck and our different statures. His chest stutters against mine once he returns his hands to my sides, still trying to push me off before he finally lowers his head in defeat. His forehead touches my shoulder and eventually sinks in as he breaks down in my arms. All of the sobs that he'd been holding in for who knows how long are finally released. I remain in place, once again rooted to the spot, only now I was holding a sobbing Henry Bowers in an ironclad grip whilst I try to get my actions to register in my mind./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Suddenly, I let out a choked noise of surprise as my breath leaves my lungs when Henry wraps his arms around me, squeezing me so tight that I swear I sounded like a squeaky toy. Although, I continued to stand there, doing my best to figure out if I should say anything about my shirt sleeve growing damp with a gross concoction of tears, drool, and snot./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"However, just as I finally began to prepare to mention it to him and ask for him to loosen up his death grip, Henry removed one of his hands from my side. His broken hiccups and sobs begin to quiet down as he brought a hand up to set on the back of my head. Henry adjusts his hunched over position, so much so that I could hear his back cracking in response to his actions./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"It takes a moment longer of relentlessly clinging to him as if he were the last penny to my name before he finally falls into quiet sniffles and shuddering breaths. Soon enough, Henry lifted his head up so that he could comfortably rest his chin on my shoulder whilst his grip on my [hair length] locks tightened to a point where it began to burn my scalp./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;""You tell anyone about this," He whispers into my ear darkly, now finally sounding like his usual self "And I'll kill you."/span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Henry abruptly lets my hair go and finally pushes himself off of me. It was something so small in retrospect/spanspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"—/spanspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"But, it convinced me to finally release him from my ironclad grip./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;""You have a funny way of thanking me," I remark, softly/span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"I watch Henry twist his body away from me as he rubs a single puffy eye with a loose fist. And it was times like those where he made me think of him as an incredibly damaged child./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"I reach up to tug at a dry spot on my sleeve, in order to be able to turn my head and see the large wet spot enter my vision. Wincing in disgust, I do my best to not focus on it as I let it go. Instead, I chose to focus on casually glancing over at the clock on my nightstand. The clock that now reads "/spanspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: bold; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"em style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Monday/em/spanspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"" along with the new date and "/spanspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: bold; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"em style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"12:29 a.m./em/spanspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;""/span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Okay, yeah, I could still get a few hours in before school tomorrow. I just gotta... gotta... Fuck, what do I even do now?/span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"I glance back over at Henry, who was now rubbing both of his eyes with both of his hands balled up into asymmetrically loose fists. Quietly, I scan him from head to toe, trying to get used to seeing the bruises, scars, and welts that decorated his body./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Jesus, how could I have let this happen to him? He looks like shit./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Henry let his hands drop down to his sides as he once again busies himself with looking around at the posters and pictures in my room. He takes a couple of steps away from the window, walking to the side opposite the one that I stood at. Henry quietly picks a picture off of the wall, it being of the guys and I. It was of us when we were still in middle school, back when Vic still had his braces and Belch was still that doe-eyed chubby boy that tried to win everyone over with his amazing baking skills./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;""So.." I trail off, gathering Henry's attention "You mentioned spending the night?"/span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Henry shrugs gruffly and replies to me with a small grunt before he puts the picture back on the wall. Honestly, if I didn't know any better, I'd say that he looked slightly offended over the fact that I would suggest such a thing. Or at least that's what it seemed like when he briefly glanced over at me. However, he was probably more annoyed that I'd seen him at his weakest./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"I cross my arms over my chest as Henry scratches the top of his head and finally turns to walk past me. My eyes followed him as he headed back over to my bed and sat down. The smell hit me once again as he brushed past me, making my eyes once again water as I brought my shirt (which had long since fallen down) back up over my nose to try and shield it from the smell./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;""If you stay, then you can shower." I mention casually, before adding "It'll help you feel better."/span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;""What if I don't want to shower?" He mutters, childishly/span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Henry crosses his arms over his chest and looks back over at the nightstand, his bottom lip pushed out in a childish pout. My mood sours as I press my lips in a tight line, together and grit my teeth, annoyed. If I had to take care of this asshole after he showed up out of the blue and forced me to comfort him, then he was gonna fucking shower./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Silently, I glare daggers at him and when Henry finally catches my eyes with his, he simply glares back. We stay like that, our minor staring contest turning into a staring standoff as he challenges me with his unblinking stare./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"I finally break eye contact and make my way over to my dresser after a moment of mentally running over my options./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;""I don't have any underwear, but I do have stuff you can change into," I tell him/span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"em style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Henry shouldn't mind not having underwear/emspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;", I assured myself, /spanem style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Since he doesn't seem to wear any anyway./em/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Wait, /spanem style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"what?/em/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Not paying attention to him, I kneel down and open the bottom drawer. Inside it held a few men's shirts that I'd stolen from Vic, Belch, and even Henry himself/spanspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"—/spanspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"along with a single pair of men's pajama pants that I'd stolen from my Dad during laundry day last week./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Quietly, I rummage around through the drawer, scouring for one of Henry's shirts-/spanspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"—/spanspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"to which, upon finding it, I let out a small victorious "Ah-Ha!" when I finally drag it out. I lift up the plain white T-shirt before setting it down and folding it over in my lap. Then, I reach back in and pull out grey plaid pajama pants. I fold them over one of my arms and pick up the shirt, proceeding to do the same. I hold onto them as I push myself up off the floor and close the drawer. I turned back to Henry, who was now eyeing me from the bed, frowning./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"I walk over to him, keeping eye contact as I give him a small smile that I truly hoped conveyed my message of "I'm fucking crazy and if you don't shower I'm gonna show you how crazy I am."/span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Thankfully, it seems that he got the message./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"I plop the clothes in his lap and cross my arms as I watch him expectantly./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;""Fine." He practically groans "Fucking/spanem style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;" fine/emspan style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"."/span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"I offer him a victorious grin as he stands up and makes his way over to my bedroom door. Said smile doesn't go away until he's finally shut my bedroom door behind him and presumably headed down the hallway to the bathroom, his steps still nearly silent as he walked. After he leaves, the exhaustion finally rears its ugly head and swiftly kicks me in the face. My skin feels like it's sagging as my facial expression returns to its resting emotion, which probably makes me look really depressed now that I think about it./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"I turn my attention to my dresser once more and make my way back over to it. I stop in front of it, taking a moment to focus on tugging my shirt off and not getting any bodily fluids on my hair or on my face. Slightly grossed out, I dropped the discarded plain black T-shirt into the [favorite color] hamper that I had put between the wooden dresser and my bookshelf./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Tiredly, I rub my droopy eyes and bend down, grabbing the first shirt that I saw so that I could slip it on. It was a plain brown T-shirt that didn't have any specific design to it, it was just as blank as the shirt I had dropped into the hamper and the white shirt I'd given Henry./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Henry./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"em style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Henry, Henry, Henry,/em/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;""Henry shouldn't mind not having underwear? " Am I fucking serious right now?/span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"I sleepily raise my hands to rub my imaginarily sagging face. I still need to get some sleep tonight, I think sleep deprivation is really starting to screw with me. I mean, Henry is gross, I literally just had to convince him to take a shower. Do I really want that? Do I really want to hit that? Am I sure?/span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"My legs carry me over to my bed and the rest my body plops me down on it. In a defeated manner, I roll over onto my bed so that I could properly lie down and successfully pull the covers over my body without much effort. I release one final yawn before I roll back over to the edge of the bed and reach up to shut the light off./span/p  
p style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 15px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', HelveticaNeue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"em style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; outline: none 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; box-sizing: border-box;"Click/em/p 


	2. hey, wake up

_Click_

Heavy [eye color] eyes threaten to crack open as my lamp clicks on and bathes my room in light. A hand seems to come from said light, firmly planting itself on my shoulder so that it could attempt shaking me awake; to which I—for a brief moment—almost genuinely considered forcing my eyes open to see what Henry wanted from me now. However, I wasn't anywhere near ready to give up on the bittersweet dream I was having and already beginning to forget. Plus, the warmth that my blankets provided for me didn't really make it all that much easier on me.

"[Last Name], wake up." He whispers

The sheer hoarseness of his voice that laid sprinkled with little bits of exhaustion only just barely registered in my brain. Although, that didn't manage to stop the gentle groan of disapproval that slipped out past my lips. Groggily, I made an attempt to tiredly roll over, maybe even tug the blankets up over my head in order to shield me from the day ahead—or was it still night? I didn't know and I clearly wasn't exactly planning on opening my eyes in order to find out, though.

Regardless, Henry seems to have buckled down and committed himself to wake me up. I listen as he lets out an irritated huff before he suddenly gives me a single harsh tug towards the edge of my bed. Out of reflex, a sharp yelp escapes my lips as my eyes snap open. Before I go ungracefully falling out of bed and ultimately landing at Henry's feet; a single flailing and uncoordinated hand snap up to the metal headboard of my bed. After grasping it, I tug myself back up to a balanced lying position. Now that I was slightly annoyed and far beyond tired, I finally pushed myself back upright and turned myself around.

" _Whaaaat?_ " I groan

I rub my blurry eyes and take a moment to blink away the gentle tendrils of sleep that dragged along my face and neck. I finally gathered enough focus just in time to see Henry wipe off the blank expression on his face and immediately paint over it with scrunched up eyebrows and a big frown.

"Well fuck, forget it." He grumbles, looking away from me bitterly

I stiffen up at Henry's words. Here he was-yet _again_ -telling me to forget whatever it was that he was pissed about. Before I could sputter out some form of a reply, Henry was already moving to climb over my blanketed form. I guess he already decided at some point while I was out— _if not earlier—_ that he was going to sleep in my bed with me, or maybe just completely take over my bed and force me onto the couch downstairs. Actually, I could probably try sleeping in one of the two bean bags in the corner. Well, probably both of them, now that I think about it. I don't think just _one_ bean bag would really let me stretch out all that much. Hell, maybe I could just say fuck it and sleep in the desk chair. I think Vic's done that a couple of times, after all. So, maybe it's not _too_ bad. Or perhaps that was one of the other boys? I can't really remember.

Henry finally makes his moves with climbing over me, effectively snatching my attention away from the cushion-y black desk chair that I found myself staring at thoughtfully. Henry's movements are cautious and gentle, which keeps the large mattress' creaks and groans down to a barely-there squeak that only _**I**_ ever seemed to notice. The frame responds with the same volume of creaking, but that thing was always quiet. Regardless, I couldn't help but notice that despite how angry he had sounded before, his movements _very_ clearly reflect something _very_ different.

Henry's baby blues avoid me as he focuses on the empty space residing on the opposite side of my body. He silently stares right into the [color] sheets as if they'd murdered his family. His movements remain the exact amount of quiet as they had been when he had walked across my floor earlier, both down the hall and throughout my room. Honestly, It's freakishly bizarre. I could've sworn that Henry's usually so much more thunder-footed, just like the rest of the guys—Belch especially.

Not that there's anything wrong with either option or anything!

Henry makes sure to climb up to a sitting position in the barren area of thin [color] sheets, where my heavy [color] winter blanket didn't reside and take up the comfy landscape. He takes a brief moment to reach down and gather a fistful of the heavy blanket into his bony hands. You know so that he could lie down and extend his lower half underneath the fluffy material, allowing the blanket to encase him just as it did to me. Henry makes sure to lie down facing the wall, seemingly ignoring my very existence as his rustling dies down and the room goes quiet. I patiently wait for a moment, debating as to whether or not I should shut the light off and go back to bed, leaving it all alone for the night. But, I guess he'd had a really rough night. So maybe this was something to be expected? Should I apologize for snapping at him?

Quietly, I suck in a breath, letting it come through my teeth and enter my lungs as I blankly observe his still frame.

"I'm... sorry." I abruptly apologize, cutting through the silence with my minor hesitation "I shouldn't have snapped at you."

"Whatever," He replies, weakly dismissing my apology

I bring my blanketed knees up to my stomach to rest my light arms and heavy head atop it. Silence falls once again as Henry continues staring at the wall, and I continue eyeing him.

"Do you.. want me to stay?" I question

I truly expected an immediate no to leave his lips, which would leave me to abandon the warmth of my covers so that he could have his space. But Henry didn't do that. He visibly tensed up at my question, going from boy to statue in seconds, as if I had just given him the ultimate verbatim of horrible verbatims. I can barely see the way he purses his lips together, or if he does at all, simply due to the fact that I can only see the corner of his mouth shifting. Henry doesn't answer me for a long time, I don't know exactly how long, but it felt like ages before he finally said those two little words that made me question the reality of the entire night.

"Could you..?" He asks in reply, his tone nothing more than a gravelly whisper

It took a moment for me to process his words, a moment too long, most likely. Perhaps the sleep deprivation had truly gotten to me this time, I had thought to myself as I witnessed him curl up beside me, his body lightly shaking as he presumably began to shed tears once again, due to whatever tornado was going on inside of him and his brain. I dumbly listen to his quivering breaths as they enter and exit his lungs, and examine his miniature meltdown, once again at a loss for what to do. Do I hug him again? Do I have to? Should I just leave him alone this time? Maybe I could just..— Awkwardly, I lower my legs and lift my arms and head. I turn my body and lean over, resting my weight on a single arm so that I could reach out more easily. With my dominant hand, I lie on his shoulder, petting it in a curious and unsure way. I had no idea what the flippity fuck I was doing, I mean, what even _is_ comforting people?

I jump for a split second the second that his hand that had originally gripped his upper arm, snakes out from underneath the blankets. It overlaps mine, stopping my confused petting as it just rests there, consuming my colder hand with new warmth. I lock up everywhere, rooted to the spot like an old tree as my eyes flicker back and forth from the hand to his face. He doesn't even look away from where he stares at the wall as he just allows the tears to leak down the side of his face and onto one of my pillows in a messy manner.

Henry's eyes flutter closed, his wet lashes painting his cheeks as tears leak out the corners of his eyes in his silently weeping. But I continue to stay still, my eyes darting back and forth from the hand on mine and his face. I suppose I was watching over him in some sort of way? I dunno, I don't really like that idea. I'm not exactly the best person for that situation, and it's a bit strange considering he just showed up out of nowhere. My thoughts race out of pure confusion, awhile ago I was forced to hug him into submission, but now he just immediately accepted my lame attempts at stopping his tears? My arm grows to tire from continuously supporting my weight, and soon enough begins to ache. All the while his breathing begins to even itself out as the tears slow to finish flowing. When his hand finally droops from mine and gently plops itself beside his loudly snoring face, my arm shakes and threatens to give out. After a short period of processing, I finally retract my hand and sit up off of my arm. I take a few minutes to grasp the edge of my blanket, holding it up so that I can scoot back under and rest my head on my pillow. It takes a few minutes before I get comfortable and warmed back up, but I still manage.

"Night Henry," I whisper, before reaching up and shutting off the light.


	3. I'm tired, Henry

I shuffle across the dirt path, ignoring the multi-colored dust as it kicked up behind me thanks to my dragging feet. I, as stoned as I was, find myself appreciating the sky-high grass and plant life that surrounded me. Sure, I'd been in this place for awhile, but it kept me watching, waiting for something new to surprise me. Maybe I won't be forced to suffer through a series of stupidly ugly nightmares until someone or something finally wakes me up in the real world, just this once?

Quietly I hum to myself, the tune being one that has been subconsciously stuck in my head for years.

 _Do, Do Re Do, Do Re Mi Fa Re Mi Do, Do_

Things get quiet as I pass by a lake-sized puddle, my voice fades into obscurity as something hums back to me, it's voice deep and crackly.

Dₒ, Dₒ Rₑ Dₒ, Dₒ Rₑ Mᵢ Fₐ Rₑ Mᵢ Dₒ, Dₒ…

I stop, freezing in place as I slowly turn my head to look towards the water. The colors of things drained, the colors sinking to the ground right in front of my eyes as my gaze spanned over the area. Of course, though, when the colors touched the ground, the draining continued. However, it was all headed to the same place. For where my eyes stopped, it was there that it hung out in the distance, just like it always did.

Of course.

I turned my attention to my hands. Watching my skin turn grey was about the only thing that made me really _feel_ when it came to these kinds of things, and even then it was only anger. I turned them over a couple times before I looked back up at the figure that dripped in the distance. All color had been sucked into it, and in return it polluted the lake-sized puddle with each drip that leaked off of it's unstable black body. The water slowly changed to a sickly green with each ripple and the thing smiled at me when the green muck finally touched the shore.

"Hey," A soft, gruff voice suddenly greets me "You there."

I spin around, eyes flickering from place to place, slightly surprised and startled at the sudden noise. Upon spotting what I assume is the one greeting me, I begin to stare confusedly into the jungle of grass where a pair of glowing orange eyes stared at me, looking right through me, giving me the urge to shiver.

"Do you need something?" I ask

"Wake up." It's voice gurgles at me softly

Suddenly, my body begins to jerk and shake in random and frantic motions against my will, making my limbs look like what happens when you get stuck in a wall in a video game. I glance around frantic, confused, and freaking the fuck out as my limbs do things limbs should not be able to do.

"What's happening to me!?" I screech

"Wake up." The two voices join together in a cacophony of raspiness and darkness " _Wake_ up."

My eyes crack open a bit as the hand gripping my side continues to shake me awake. I murmur out a small explanation of 'no' to Henry, simply telling him that I'm not gonna get up again. However, my slurred and mumbled words seem to fall on def ears, since I only get to be shaken harder. I close my eyes and curl up into a bunch of blankets in front of me, hiding my face deeper in the [color] heap. Weakly, I reach behind me and swing my open palm around as I curl up further.

Just 15 more minutes of sleep, I just fell asleep like 3 minutes ago.

"If you insist." A deep, nasally voice that most certainly does _not_ belong to Henry Bowers tells me

A lighter is flicked on inside of me, setting all of my senses on fire the second I hear him speak to me. Suddenly, I feel him taking my lazily waving hand into one of his. His palm is clammy and cold, but not as cold as his rings. But I shouldn't be surprised.

No, what I should be surprised about, is how he was currently _in my fucking house_.

Now on the defensive, my eyes snap open as his long, slender fingers intertwined with mine. It was something so little, but it gave him the advantage he needed in order for him to nearly dislocate my arm with an over exaggerated yank. Before it's too late, I swiftly grab one of the metal bars of my headboard with my free hand.

Ugh, I really wish these assholes would stop trying to give me concussions by dragging me off of my bed.

Hurriedly—though not fast enough—I liberate my hand from his scalding grip. My skin immediately begins to cool as I pull myself back onto the bed.

"Mornin', sunshine!" He chirps

Stress that hadn't previously been acknowledged, pours out of me almost immediately. Standing up on my mattress, I spin around, shrinking away as best as I can. So much so that I practically hug the wall with my back. I probably looked like I'd just eaten every lemon on the tree out back when I began glaring swords and daggers into the greedy green eyes of Patrick Hockstetter.

"Don't fucking touch me!" I snap, practically screaming

"You're the one who offered, [Nickname]." Patrick teases

My body shakes with hatred as I consciously stalk up to him, on the verge of drop kicking him into the next dimension over, even though I absolutely loathe touching him. However, a certain Criss boy managed to insert himself between Patrick and the bed, forcing Patrick to take a couple steps back. Although, this doesn't help us to take our eyes off of each other as we silently wage war through our eyes. No, not until he inserted something else into my vision.

"Here." Victor tells me

Now with Patrick mostly gone from my sight and this object in my face, I'm forced to pull my head back and refocus my vision. It takes a moment for me to finally realize that it was a cup he held in his hands, a coffee cup that was very obviously from the local coffee shop. Which was not just obvious solely because of the label they printed on the sides of their cups in that fancy handwriting they seemed to be seriously addicted to. But because it was literally the only coffee place in town. I accept the cup, feeling the cold touch of the ice and the chilled brown liquid inside. It was nice that the boys finally remembered my order, since they always seemed to "conveniently forget" that I prefer iced coffee that's [bland/overloaded with sugar and milk]. I take a sip from the straw and climb down from my bed.

"Thank you," I murmur into the straw

"Yeah, it was no big deal, really. Only took time out of my day and everything." Victor mutters back

I pause and turn back to him, the lighter inside me flicking closed as I tune out the elephant in the room that now appeared to be beside him from where I was positioned. My [eye color] eyes flicker from his frowning face to the coffee in my hand, to which I lift up just a bit for a better pointless angle. With a small shrug, I bring it back down and take another sip before continuing to make my way over to my large wooden dresser. I stop in front of the long piece of furniture and gently place the beverage on top of it, letting it co-exist with all of my knick-knacks and books. I bend over, setting to work on digging some clothes out, since Belch was most likely going to start honking for me soon.

I tug out a random pair of socks and drop them onto the floor beside me carelessly. My ear involuntarily twitches as Victor replies to my actions with a small passive-aggressive grunt that signaled he was rolling his eyes at my disregard for cleanliness. Now pausing my movements, I blankly turn my head to glance at him to check to see if I was in fact correct. Sure enough, there he stood, turning his head to look out one of my windows as he crosses his arms over his chest. It was really the little things Victor did when I was pissing him off that honestly made me want to go on living and not just fall into a 44 year hibernation, even if I probably seriously needed it at this point. Quietly, whilst skillfully avoiding even so much as looking in Patrick's direction, I turn my attention back to my drawers, focusing on rummaging through my shirt drawer for a moment before I pulled out a random grey shirt. After casually dropping that on the floor as well. Now with Victor's internal screams to guide me by acting as background music for my montage, I continue to dig out some random jeans that are more distressed than Victor, and underwear. No with my outfit for the day all thrown together, I finally turn, making sure to drop the clothes into the small pile I'd created. I choose to face only Victor, so that I don't accidentally pop a vein.

"I need to change." I deadpan

A deep scowl replaces my blank expression the second I hear Patrick sucking in a deep breath as he prepares to challenge me. But, thankfully, (more for his sake than either of mine or Victor's) Victor grabs him by the back of the collar of his coat and drags him out of the room.

Patiently, I wait with my hands flat against my sides and my eyes following their miniature journey of thundering across my bedroom floor over to the door. Despite their loud footsteps being the norm, it still manages to remind me of how hard I'd thought so much about Henry's much quieter steps. Which prompted me to throw a glance over at my empty bed out of reflex, just before the door managed to shut behind the two boys. Of course I'd watched Henry leave last night through the window, whether he realized it or not. Which definitely meant that there were no doubts about the reality of him showing up. But, it was still weird to watch him go. He moved so slowly and with a patience that I never had known he'd possessed. It was around the time when the color of the sky was beginning to lighten that he'd begun to lift the covers off of himself so that he could begin his slow descent off of my bed. Even as his feet touched the floor, his footsteps were still just as soft as they had been the whole night as he snuck over to the window. It was strange that part of me had something of an urge to do something, to stop him from leaving and going back to that house. 'Maybe he wouldn't come back out of that house one day,' I had thought, 'and that would be it, that right there would just be the end of Henry Bowers.'

I reach over to my dresser for my coffee, my eyes not moving from the bed as I pick the beverage up and take a few unconscious sips. 'Maybe he'd end up as another name under the bridge,' I continued grimly, 'or another missing person's poster.' A small frown makes its way onto my face as I finally turn back to my dresser, where I once again place the coffee. Depressing thoughts of his demise continue to run through me as I go about stripping out of my clothes from the previous night and, embarrassingly enough, the entire weekend. The cold air around me is not nice about touching my exposed skin as I try my best to quickly re-dress into the outfit I'd chosen. It was just another downward spiral of thoughts, like it usually was whenever I thought about something. Sure, Henry really _had_ showed up at my house like that, like a hot mess. Well-a hot mess having a meltdown. Henry Bowers, a hot mess-a _hotter_ mess than normal, having a meltdown, in my house- _in_ _my room_ , at sometime in the late, late night, going all the way into the early, early morning. But, as a whole, how the hell am I even supposed to _react_ to all of that? I hugged him into submission, he held my hand when I was sitting there trying to figure out how to comfort him, he cried on me, he cried in my bed, he cried himself to _sleep_. What am I supposed to do? Am I even supposed to do anything?

I finish buckling up the belt I'd grabbed off of the nightstand and adjust my shirt one last time. Tiredly, I lift a hand up and run it through my hair, ruffling the [hair color] locks a bit as I saunter over to my bedroom door. Still in thought, I firmly grasp the knob and turn it so that I could pull it open. In a brief moment of clarity upon seeing black and white converse and checkered vans on the floor at different spots in front of my door, I glance up to Victor and Patrick, both of whom stood a good few feet apart. Patrick stood looming over me by a few feet, not hiding the fact that he was most likely trying to peep. It was obvious that he had been twisting and turning those _same_ black rings that he religiously wore on his fingers, because he was still doing it when that fucking Cheshire-smile stretched across his face. Meanwhile, it seemed that Victor had busied himself with smoking a menthol and blankly staring at some family photos, none of them being of me or my family together, but rather distant relatives I had never met in person before. His head almost immediately snapped over so he could see me the second he heard the door creaking open.

"Glad you didn't let Belch drive off this time." I tell them

I look mainly at Victor as I abruptly raise a single hand to shove Patrick, hoping that I could get some breathing room. But, unfortunately, he didn't move an inch. Now resorting to other methods, I make my way over to Victor and take a moment to wipe my infected hand off on his red and black 'HELLBOY' sweatshirt. With a scowl he shoves my hand away, doing his best to wipe the imaginary sin off of his good sweatshirt.

"Don't infect me with second-hand Hockstetter." He snaps

Unfazed by Victor's actions or words, I move to pivot around to face Patrick, about to banish the walking omen himself from my household. Although, it seems that he was just waiting for me to look at him so he could properly try to press my buttons.

"I wanted to let him drive off." Patrick mentions, with a lick his lips from the corner of my eye "It's almost winter and it'd be fucking _hysterical_ to watch you walk to school in the cold again."

"That's because you're a _psychopath_ , Patrick." I reply, not missing a beat, "Now _get_. _Out of. My. House_."

I point my hand down the hallway in the direction of the stairs. Expectantly, I watch as he nonchalantly allows his arms to drop to his sides so that his hands can stuff themselves into the pockets of his dark skinny jeans. Patrick creeps over me, pure smugness spilling from his smirk as he passes me, making sure to bump shoulders with me as he goes. I almost go to swing at him right then and their as the rage once again ignites, but Victor stops me by the shoulder, and offers me his cigarette. With a small huff of frustration, I take the damn thing out of his hands and take a drag, starting off down the hallway and ultimately, after the twig boy who walks at a _very_ slow pace. The smoke exits my mouth once again as I blow it out, my footsteps quietly thump behind Patrick's as I pass him, bumping shoulders with him just as he had done with me.

"Move faster." I hiss to him "Before you curse my house."

I take another drag as I continue past him. Patrick says nothing back to me as he continues at the same pace he was originally going at. I repress the urge to grab him by the jacket collar just as Victor had done earlier so that I could drag him over to the stairs and shove him down them. But I wouldn't do too well in prison if he died.

Honking begins to start up outside, signalling that either Henry was finally starting to get impatient and had convinced an also impatient Belch to let him start laying on the horn. I sped up just a bit more, my stride growing as I make my way over to the steps, that I quickly go thundering down. Once at the bottom, I take a few minutes to grab my all-time favorite [favorite color] sweatshirt out of the closet and a random pair of [color] [another color] converse. I take a few more drags of the cigarette I'd taken from Vic, trying to get as close to finishing it as I can because I knew that I was probably going to need the nicotine in my system to be able to deal with Patrick today. The honking outside begins to drag out, which was surely going to irritate my neighbors. So, I only put on my shoes and decided that I would put on my sweatshirt as I walked across my lawn.

Upon hearing either Patrick or Victor thumping down the stairs right behind me, I take a couple rushed steps over to the front door and grab the knob. The cold air hits me almost immediately as I take a final drag from the cancer stick, before flicking it off into the dewy grass on my lawn. Quietly I step outside, simultaneously slipping into the [favorite color] sweatshirt as I make my way across the lawn to exactly where I could hear the Trans-Am honking.

"Hurry the fuck up!" I hear Henry's gruff voice shout at me as the horn goes off a couple more times

I slip my arms into the sleeves and tug the sweatshirt on over my head. Now that I was able to see, I could see Henry's annoyed frown and deep-seated glare being shot at me from where he sat in the front seat. This, coupled with his voice, causes the previous night to begin bouncing around in my mind again.

"Trying," I reply, most likely too quietly for him to hear

Henry leans his head out the open window with a squint as he either debates asking me what the hell I just said, or just tries to intimidate me for giving such a reply. He continues to stare at me for a moment longer, before breaking away to lay back in his seat with a pouty huff of anger. I approach the Trans-Am and casually pop the door open so that I could climb in. From the second I opened the door to sometime after Patrick had climbed in behind me, Henry had sat there scolding me like he did every other morning. Acting like he hadn't spent most of the night at my house the way he did.

A small part of me felt a painful twinge at that thought, something that prompted me to tune him out to place a hand over my heart in order to make sure that I was indeed still alive and not dying. But eventually my usual exhaustion began to quickly set back in and I could feel the oncoming stress headache that lightly thundered inside my skull. Unfocused and disinterested, I scratch an itch that nagged me from where it rested in a spot on the back of my head.

"Are you even fuckin' hearin' me?" Henry suddenly hisses

My head raises and I give a tired yawn into my hand whilst the other falls into my lap. Henry's eye twitches as the veins around his reddening face and neck make themselves more present when I sink down into my seat and spread my legs out a bit more, giving myself some space.

"Yeah, Henry, I'm listenin'." I lie, tiredly

I can practically feel the rage radiating off of him in waves as he glares at me, probably debating my murder. It was kinda nice for things to be back to normal, but it was a lot nicer to not have Henry screaming in my face for a few minutes last night. Quite refreshing, actually.

"Fuckin'— _Whatever!_ " He exclaims, throwing his arms up in the air and almost hitting the roof of the Trans-Am "I'm too tired for your shit."

'Me too,' I mentally reply, already tired, more tired than I already was physically, of hearing him dismiss over and over again. I just couldn't handle it when he did that, it made me feel so...tired, but for my feelings, yeah, tired for my feelings. Henry turns back around in his seat, instead focusing on swatting Belch's hands away from the horn which he had been laying on for the past few minutes. Henry slams his hand down on the horn a few more times and leans out the window.

"Let's fuckin' _go_ , Vic!" He roars

Ignoring their antics, I allow my head to lull to the side and my eyes to close. Meanwhile, Patrick just snickers and snuus at me as he pesters me through the form of poking. Steadily growing more frustrated, I quickly sat up, taking a moment to shove him all the way over so that he's squashed against the door. Finally, after a moment of deciding that he was far enough away, I remove my now disease-ridden hands and wipe them on the back of Belch's seat, muttering something vile Patrick just cackles at and mocks me. Shortly after he'd moved back into his spot and quit messing with me, the door on Victor's side finally pops open. I glance up at him with a tired smile that held no true emotion as I accept my once-forgotten coffee.

"What took ya so long?" Belch asks, very obviously annoyed

"I wasn't gonna _exercise_ my way out the door just because _you_ got impatient." Victor replies, doing a little running motion with his arms when he says the word exercising

"Thanks, Vic." I thank whilst taking a sip of my coffee

"Fuck off, Vic." Henry cuts in "Let's just get today fuckin' over with."

Belch somehow manages to chuckle a bitter and passive-aggressive manner in a way that only he can. My ears once again twitch as he pulls the Trans-Am out of park and puts it into drive. Quietly, he pulls away from the curb, gripping the steering wheel for dear life whilst Henry fiddles with the radio, flipping through the different stations. My body grows light as I float around in the ocean of sleep, missing when my head managed to connect to Vic's shoulder as my body slumped to the left almost automatically.


	4. i swear

I was nearly halfway done with my coffee when Belch finally pulled into the school parking lot.

I had practically drilled through the damn thing whilst Belch, Patrick, and Victor busied themselves with exchanging a bit of conversation. Admittedly, said conversation was slightly forced when it came down to it. Of course this was all because Patrick—no matter the circumstances- _always_ managed to swerve things towards somewheres questionable or sexual. It's not like he ever had anything terribly intelligent to say anyways when he got like this. Especially in the mornings when everybody's brains have been deep fried and packaged up to be sent to the store.

Well, at least that's the only way that I can really explain it.

Patrick always has managed to make me feel.. messy..? I guess?

It's hard to explain.

He just.. makes me feel is a mix of things, a cake batter type mix of emotions and thoughts. All of them negative. I could have sworn up and down that Patrick could make anyone, man or woman, shake in his or her boots if he really wanted to; and he just about always wanted to. He honestly makes my head hurt and my stomach churn. He made my skin burn too. I can even promise that he almost managed to make me cry. It was around the time when I'd first began to hang out with the gang. However, I couldn't for the life of me remember what it was that he did. I just know that he nearly made me cry and it was damn near impossible to make me want to cry, let alone actually fall through with it. But, I guess that was Patrick for you.

He could make your body feel ten times denser just by talking to you. He could say one word to you and as if he'd snapped his fingers, _**Bam!**_ suddenly you feel like you're carrying a fully stocked refrigerator on your back. Hell, the guy even made my heart hurt. Everytime I try to breathe around him I get stabbed right in the heart with a sharp pang; and I don't mean the weird pangs that Henry makes me feel.

 _Henry_.

My eyes drift away from Patrick's window, and over to the front passenger seat. There Henry rested, slumped over with his temple pressed against the window and his arms crossed over his chest. His gentle snoring was barely there enough to fill whatever quiet the others would land on after conversation gradually fell short every so often.

I took yet another sip of my coffee as I watched the visible lower half of his side as it rose and fell.

Every breath he took in his slumber that prompted his chest to rise, also managed to lift the end of his black long sleeved shirt up. But with every exhale it always lowered itself back down to cover up his deep navy blue boxers and the black waist band they had.

I guess he _did_ wear underwear after all.

I fail to catch myself before finishing that thought. I most likely visibly wince, and slap a hand over my heart as it's struck with the unique pang that only he could seem to force upon me. My eyes snap down to the carpeted ground in front of me.

"What's wrong with _you_?" Victor suddenly remarks

My head snaps over to him.

"What?" I ask, reflexively

I stare for a moment, trying to process his words. Victor always ended up mumbling at the most inconvenient times. Either that or this coffee wasn't doing terribly great with waking me up.

"Oh," I reply dumbly "Nothing, just swallowed too much and it hurt."

"Oh, _did_ ya now?" Patrick's smug voice comes from behind me

I practically spin right around to glare some hatred fueled daggers at him. Patrick just grins, though, like he always did. A deep scowl replaces my blank expression as I bring the straw up to my lips and take it in my mouth. I bite the straw in order to keep myself from crushing the cup and getting coffee everywhere.

Of course his mind would drift to that. _Ugh_! He has to be kidding me with this shit!

Patrick's eyes shamelessly flicker down to my lips, where they linger for a moment. Before they returned back up to my eyes. I release the straw and swallow what's left of the coffee in my mouth.

"I'll shove you out of this car again." I threaten, my voice gruff from not having cleared it "Don't test me."

Patrick just smiles wider at me, saying nothing as the adrenaline pounds within my system. Confrontation such as this—especially with Patrick and the gang—always managed to make my body go into overdrive. It wasn't as easy as it looked, you know? Even though Patrick spent just about every day pushing my buttons it still got to me. And now with all the thoughts of Henry randomly showing up at my house last night, I just wasn't.. I was off my game.

Desperate to distract myself from my growing anger and the persistently looking exhaustion, I decided to look back up at Henry. He still slept very soundly in the front seat, in the same position that he was in when I'd originally looked away.

I take note of his dad's dark brown-nearly black bomber jacket that was currently balled up in his lap. It was the jacket that he almost always wore during the winter and on cold or chilly days if not mornings. I guess with Autumn rolling on to where it was growing closer to winter, it was time for him to start wearing it. His black leather jacket sure as hell wouldn't keep him warm enough.

My eyes linger on the jacket for a millennia as my thoughts swallow me whole. Those bruises.. they were real, weren't they? He really did come to my house and everything? I wasn't crazy? He must be so tired after all the tossing and turning that he did. Who knows if he even got any sleep at all. I sure as hell didn't, I was too sleep drunk to ask. Plus, Henry wasn't too terribly cheerful when it came to being woken up. Not just that, but he was already giving me a hard time for most of the night anyway. I mean, I had to _convince_ him to finally shower. What kind of person needs to be _convinced_ to shower?

Henry, apparently.

Regardless, unlike his leather jacket, the bomber jacket had a furry inside. That, and it was even decorated with bunches of patches. Said patches were divided up onto the chest part with two above the front two pockets and placed above and below each other. Meanwhile, there were more patches on the outer part of the sleeves.

It really _must_ be warm.

I finally pull my attention off of the jacket and refocus it so that I could peer out the windshield.

Ah, so we were finally pulling into the school parking lot.

Honestly, I couldn't be more thankful.

Don't get me wrong, I'm okay with hanging out with the gang and all; and I'm okay with getting a free ride to school every morning. But, it's just that I really needed to get out of this van before I suffocated. If it wasn't Patrick bugging me then it was me obsessing about Henry.

Perhaps I was worried?

Probably. Anyone with half a brain would be worried about The Great and Terrible Henry S. Bowers.

Which is why half the town didn't really care. That and most of the kids were afraid of him whilst the adults tended to stay out of it, like everything. Elliott Carter's dog got hit by a drunk driver last week and did anyone do anything? No.

Moving on, Belch didn't waste any time with parking. Although, he didn't slam on the breaks or harshly turn the wheel into whatever parking spot he decided on like he usually did whenever it came to mornings like these. Or any morning at all. Possibly because Henry was sleeping and if Belch did such a thing, let alone both of them, then Henry would most likely lose his shit.

No, instead, Belch gently parked Amy in her spot for the day, making sure that he took extra care in turning off the engine. Thankfully, Henry woke up at this, which meant that the guys and myself didn't have to play rock, paper, scissors to see who had to wake Henry up. This was the only way to keep Patrick from waking him up the second he fell asleep just to piss him off.

The last time-it being Tuesday-was Victor, who ended up getting an earful of practically unintelligible shouting and barking that lasted for almost half an hour. The poor guy was pissed for days. He only just stopped being bitter about it on Saturday. The rest of us ended up making our way up to the school only to end up sitting and waiting on the sidewalk for them. Belch ended up mostly smoking, while I played with a stick I found-literally just pushing pebbles and stones around, and Patrick flicked his lighter open and closed.

We all watched Henry as he pushed himself up off of the door. He took a moment to rub his tired eyes.

"Mornin', Hank." Belch greets him

Victor and Patrick had already popped their doors open and climbed out by the time Henry had finally begun to mumble something back. He grabs his dad's jacket and pops his door open. He climbs out of the vehicle and slams the door shut, making his way up to the school as he slips on the aforementioned jacket.

I linger for a moment longer to look up and meet Belch's eyes in the rearview mirror. He watched me with the same worried face that Mama Huggins always gave him whenever we would come over to visit.

"You sure you're up for today?" He asks, "You look way more tired than usual."

I give a small shrug before I scoot over towards Victor's side. He'd left the door open for me to climb out, as he always did. At least he didn't make me climb out on Patrick's side like he used to before he started to tolerate me.

Belch sighs before finally popping his door open and climbs out alongside me, his keys jingling in his hand as he moves. When my feet hit the pavement below, I take my final sip from my cup, finishing my coffee completely.

"You take forever." Victor remarks, sighing

"I can take even longer if you want." I reply

Victor groans dramatically as he crosses his arms over his chest and looks up at the sky. As Belch shuts my door behind me, Victor spins on his heels and walks away from me. I glance over at Belch, who returns my shrug from before as he walks up beside me. His dark brown jacket that was sporadically littered in light brown spots-that we're most likely the effect of sun bleaching if not actual bleaching-floated in the wind as he walked. The dark brown strings of the hood we're even splayed out across his chest. This allowed his black and white Anthrax band shirt to be proudly displayed. Belch didn't bother tucking it into his gray blue stone washed jeans though; and he didn't bother tucking the ends said jeans into those hikers boots he always wore, even though he barely ever got to hike.

"Hurry the fuck up!" Henry demands

We all joined together on the sidewalk that lined the parking lot. Henry was impatiently waiting whilst Patrick was patiently waiting, for Victor, Belch, and I, to catch up to them. Patrick kept himself busy by tapping his foot and drumming a random beat on his thighs whilst he absent-mindedly chewed on his bottom lip. As Belch and I caught up with Victor, who caught up with Henry and Patrick, Henry finally glanced over at Patrick. Irritation was spread across his face clear as day, and a vein was already popping out of his forehead by the time he raised an eyebrow, a warning sign.

"Would you fuckin' _stop_?" Henry snaps

"Sure, Hank." Patrick replies, pausing his actions

He overdramatically turns his head to Henry as his arms freeze in place. He releases his bottom lip and instead grins his classic Cheshire grin.

"But _when_?" He whispers, loudly

Patrick goes back to drumming and turns his attention to the rest of us as Henry growls. He narrows his eyes at Patrick, who cheerfully tilts his head left and right every so often as he hums off key to an unnameable song. I break off from the boys to walk over to the trashcan where I throw my cup away. Of course, the guys had already started walking towards the building, leaving me to either jog or remain behind them. So of course I chose the sensible option.

Stay behind them because running to catch up requires effort.

I take my time to admire my surroundings. The groups of friends conversing amongst each other, the kids getting off the buses, the parents dropping their children off, that lady walking her dog, the clown holding a balloon-

 _The clown holding a balloon?_

I do a swift double take and quickly realize that no, it was just the school mailbox with a red 'I ? Derry' balloon attached to it.

Phew, that could've been weird.

Maybe I am tired?

My eyes continue to drift around the schoolyard, eventually landing and staying on Henry's back. He really did look tired, perhaps as tired as me. I take a moment to look over all of the guys, the only ones who appeared tired were Henry and Patrick, possibly Victor. Victor just wasn't as severe, I guess.

I stuff my hands into the pockets of my sweatshirt and pull out my pack and lighter. I flick the pack open and bring it up to my lips so that I could take a cigarette out. After flicking the pack closed I took a moment to light the stick, taking a long drag before I finally put my lighter away. I bring my free hand up to remove the cigarette and let out my exhale of smoke. I continue to watch the boys—or more specifically, Henry—as they walk and talk about who knows what. The only thing that was different about the conversational situation this time, though, was that Henry was finally awake enough to be included. Sure, I couldn't tell what they were talking about now. But, I didn't exactly care all that much either. No, instead, I just brought the cigarette up to my lips and took another drag. It was here at this point where I took notice of the little limp that Henry walked with. I'm not sure the others noticed it. But, I sure as hell did.

But did he have it last night, though?

In all honesty, I couldn't help but wonder what had happened when he'd left me last night to go back home. After all, he'd spent most of the night tossing and turning in his sleep.

Henry abruptly stops in his tracks and spins around, meeting my eyes almost instantly. He looked nearly startled for a brief moment when he saw my unwavering stare. However, that didn't stop him from flipping the switch to go back to his usual demeanor.

"What the fuck is taking ya so damn long?" Henry barks "Move your ass, [Last Name]!"

The others follow suit in turning around to look at me. I sigh quietly before finally giving in and jogging to catch up with them. I stop in front of Henry, holding his gaze for a moment longer.

"What's with you, anyway?" He asks

It was a rhetorical question, though. So there was no sense in replying.

Henry randomly broke the eye contact, catching me off guard. It was then that pang from earlier surged through my chest once again. In response, my hand reflexively snapped up to my chest. I had to stop in place for a moment—not that anyone noticed—my quiet gasp of pain was silenced almost immediately by the bustling community around me.

Today was gonna be hard.


	5. ok, i get it

School was long and boring as always, but being late helped a little bit. But, even though for once in my very short life I'd avoided being chastised by my first period English teacher for being late like usual; I'd still gotten pulled (along with the rest of the gang) to get chastised by the principal for "not giving more of a shit about our futures". But hey, at least I didn't have to go to gym class.

 _Click ca-click_

Though, Henry's constant side eye had me a little bit on edge all throughout the day. Especially since histhe seat he chose outside the principal's office was the one right next to mine. And none of it helped me clear my deteriorating brain of all the new empty thoughts that occasionally sent me spiraling.

 _Click ca-click_

I took a bite of my sandwich and chewed it up a bit more aggressively than intended. Of course my brain was still spiraling and the constantly clicking of Patrick's fucking zippo helped absolutely none.

 _Click ca-click_

Either way though, now that it was lunch time and things were a bit lighter–No! Son of a bitch! I mean—Ugh! I can't fucking think with all this racket!

 _Click ca-click_

I sucked a breath in and turned, about to say something along the lines of "shut" and "the fuck up" when a subtle nudge acquired my attention first.

 _Click ca-click_

Quietly, I turned my head to Victor who extended his pack out to me, one of his menthols was already halfway pulled out. Quietly, I took it and stuffed my hand into my pocket, rifling around for my lighter before finding it and pulling it out so I could light this damn thing. I leaned against the car as I took my first drag, Patrick's clicking still prominent but less frustrating now that my hands were busy.

Henry, however–

 _Click ca-_

"Knock that shit off, Hockstetter!" Henry suddenly barked

Henry spun to face Patrick, who leaned casually against the Trans-Am with one hand in his pocket and the other on his lighter. Patrick's eyes slid over to Henry, who had looked red and ready to beat the fuck out of someone since he walked out of the principal's office earlier today.

 _Click_

 _ca-click_

Henry takes a step towards Patrick who straightens up and pockets his lighter. They make eye contact and prepare themselves for a brawl as Belch quickly drops his lunch of a small cheeseburger onto the napkins he'd put on the trunk of his car. Belch hurriedly rounds Patrick, slipping an arm between them as he casually interrupts the two with a calm voice.

"What're we doing for today?" Belch interrupts, the question being directed more and Henry than anyone.

At this, just about everyone turns their head to look over at Henry, since the question had been directed more so at him rather than any one of us. Although, Patrick and Victor were more focused on doing their own thing and Henry himself was busy staring at the ground. It seemed that he hadn't heard a single word.

My eyes catch on Victor when he moves in my peripheral, since he was standing behind me. My eyes flicker up to look at him and I watch as he takes a drag off of his cigarette before making brief eye contact with Belch. With a sudden scoff after a seemingly telepathic conversation with the hefty boy over towards my right, Victor turns away. He shakes his head as smoke leaves his mouth in an exhaling breath.

"Don't look at me, I've got nothing." Victor announces

Almost all eyes are drawn to Patrick, who deeply inhales with a smile as he prepares to speak. My relaxed face hardens almost immediately as his eyes transfer from each of our faces—including Henry's, even as Henry continued to stare at the pavement at our feet.

"We could–" He begins, before quickly being interrupted

"You don't get to pick." Belch firmly states

"Aaww," Patrick whines, feigning some semblance of hurt "Why not?"

"Because you picked last time." Belch adds

"And." Victor continues "You and [First Name] almost drowned each other fighting in the quarry."

Straightening up defensively, I look back at Victor.

"Well maybe if Cockstetter weren't such a pain in the ass, I wouldn't have tried to knock his teeth in." I snap

Patrick creeps up behind me, leaning over my shoulder stalkerishly as I stiffen and stare forward, anger radiating off of me in waves.

"I'd've liked to have seen you try." He whispers

I grit my teeth, snarling "You have exactly two fucking seconds to get the fuck out of my space."

"Or what? What will you do, sunshine? Beat the shit out of me? Murder me? Throw my mutilated corpse into the barr–"

"Shut the fuck up! " Henry barks "I don't give a fuckin' fuck what you do. But I'm not tearin' you assholes off each other again this week!"

"That was last, last week, Hank–" Patrick corrects

Henry swiftly pushes himself off of the trunk, and stomps up to Patrick. In about 1 second flat, Henry had given him a harsh shove. But, Patrick just giggled childishly as his back collided with the trunk of the Trans-Am and he brought his hands up almost playfully as he turned his head away, his twinkling dead eyes never once leaving Henry's face.

"Did I fuckin' ask you what fuckin' day it was, Cockstetter?!" Henry snaps, his voice carrying across the parking lot " 'Cause I don't fuckin' think so!"

Belch quietly nudges me aside so that he could carefully insert an arm between a fired up Henry and a snickering Patrick.

"Let it go, Hank." He murmurs to Henry

Henry tries to push Belch's arm away as Belch gently guides him away like a sheep dog guiding sheep or cattle. Henry turns his gaze to Belch, who just gave him that weird motherly look he gave all of us whenever we were arguing and he had to separate us. We all watch as they murmur to each other with Henry huffing and puffing in response.

Why didn't he go to Belch for help last night?

"Get offa' me," Henry spits "Fuckin' get off! "

Those words hit me like a wave and echoed in my head, bouncing around as the thoughts flood me. Belch and Henry go back and forth, their conversation/minor argument sounding distant, it barely being there as I glanced down at my hands. My eyes run up and down my arms that had once been locked around the back of his neck whilst he said those exact words. I felt exactly as I had felt then, except this time I wondered and thought something different.

Did he always say it like that? Does he even realize?

A gentle nudge brought me back to the present, drawing my attention over to Victor. My eyebrows furrowed for a moment as he purposely glanced down at his cigarette and then back up to me. My eyes flickered over to it before I reached up, plucking it from between his fingertips as he subtly moved his hand closer to me. I take a drag off of the cigarette, my eyes turning to a bickering Henry and a trying-his-best Belch.

"Whatever," Henry suddenly snapped, throwing his hands up in the air "Fucking whatever."

God dammit, Henry.

Henry finally walked back to his spot, snatching the cigarette right from my hands and between my lips as I took a drag. And for a split second, as his eyes met mine, he gave me that look—the look of a kicked puppy that he'd given me last night—when I'd seen what's underneath his dad's old jacket and those long sleeved shirts he religiously wore—when he'd sniffled and hiccuped each time he'd breathed.

It made that pang in my chest come back when he'd looked away, back down at the ground as time sped back up to normal speed. His work boots clumped against the ground, his footsteps heavier than they were as gravel crunched against his boots. He returned to his spot on the opposite side of Victor where he quietly finished the cigarette he'd stolen from me—the one Vic had let me steal from him.

After that, we were all quiet. Even whilst the bustle around us continued on as everybody else headed home, even as Belch returned to his spot beside Henry, even as Victor pulled out his pack and his lighter, noise coming from it as he slid a cigarette out and put it between his lips, fidgeting with the now dead lighter that wouldn't light any longer; even as Patrick cheerfully pulled out his silver zippo and flicked it open, lighting it swiftly before putting the little flame to the end of the stick, we were all quiet.

At least until Patrick flicked the lighter shut and pocketed it. It was then that Henry spoke up.

"My old man's gonna be gone for most of today, won't be back 'til later," Henry speaks up "We can hang out in the barn or somethin,' or do somethin' in the field."

"Sure, Hank, maybe quiet is something we all need today." Belch mentions, nonchalantly

Now, the Bowers' Farm was quiet for the most part, less so than when his dad wasn't around. But, rather than completely dead silent because Butch is there, it was quiet in the sense that if you end up in the right spot it's you can hear the calls of the wildlife around you if not the farm animals from the surrounding area. But, the more I think about it, Henry's house was kinda small compared to the surrounding field and the big red barn way out back. Which probably helped the general quiet.

Actually, I'm pretty sure Belch once said that if you stood up on the top of the barn—maybe where the north, west, south, east rooster thing—you'd be able to see just about everything. But, that's probably because the barn itself was about three stories tall, even though it had only two floors. So, I guess that means that it was just like any other barn you'd see. And the only thing that made this one particular barn special was the fact that it had a small living area up on the second floor. It was a place where Henry would sometimes be when we came to visit or to hang out. Even though the living area wasn't much—it being nothing too fancy or particularly special—since it only really consists of a queen size mattress, a box spring underneath that, and a headboard that wasn't attached to anything. Though, it still rested up front between the mattress and the barn wall. Said headboard was a chocolate brown color, having clearly been painted to look that way.

Besides that, there was an old scratched up nightstand. Atop it sat where a dirty old lantern that was probably on its last legs. Yet it still worked and that was good enough reason to keep it. Not like another one would take it's place if it did. Other than that lantern, there wasn't much on the nightstand besides a carton of cigarettes that somehow managed to change brands everytime I saw it. Like how one day it was Blue Camels, and then the next day it was Malboro Regulars.

Regardless, of the ever changing brand, though, it would occasionally be empty—Unlike the drawers of the nightstand, which always had something in them. In fact, last I checked, there were a couple of lighters and some extra nudie magazines that couldn't fit in the already stuffed space between the box spring and mattress, and for once, there was no dead mouse.

And yeah, sometimes there'd be a dead mouse or something in there.

I mean, hell already knows that there was a lot of them in this barn—dead or not. But sometimes, whenever we were all together, hanging out up there in that very living space, Henry would end up opening that drawer to get either a magazine or a lighter, and there it would be laying. There would be the small body of a mouse—sometimes curled up on itself, other times stretched out on it's back or it's side. The fur was almost always a chestnut-y brown and it's paws were usually balled up into lose fists. And in those moments, when Victor would cringe, and Patrick would smile whilst reaching out to grab it, Henry would beat him to it. Every single time, in the same way, he'd pick up the little corpse by it's tail with cold eyes and a snarl before carelessly tossing it out the same old window—into the previously mentioned field below. And the mouse would never be seen again. Sure, he used to miss, but after some practice he'd gotten used to it—he'd gotten better.

He'd always gotten better.

Or so I thought, you know, up until he showed up at my house that night.

Why can't I stop thinking about that?

A hand is waved in front of my face, bringing my attention back.

"You coming?" Patrick asks, teasingly "Or do I finally get to have Belch run your ass over?"

I swat his hand away, spitefully.

"He'd run you over before he ran me over. At least Belch actually likes me." I huff

"Oh no—my feelings—you've—hurt them." Patrick dramatically mocks before smirking wickedly "Do it again."

I scoff before shoving him out of my way so I could pass by him and round the car. I stop at the back door on Patrick's side, taking a moment to pop it open.

"In your dreams, Cockstetter." I hiss before climbing in

"How did you know I dream of that?" Patrick asks in a half-joking half-genuine manor.

You know, just like he did with almost everything else. I swear his favorite pastime was making me concerned and disgusted.

Either way, without a thought to spare towards my reply, I put my hand on the top of the door, curling my fingers around it as I made solid eye contact with his grinning self. I offered a sickly sweet smile to him as I finally find my opening to take a genuine jab at him—something that would finally get under his skin.

"Your mommy told me on Sunday, Pattycakes." I quip "Why don't you go with her anymore, huh?"

Patrick's eyes turn dark and cold, his smile disappearing as his face went blank. With a wicked grin, I climb into the car and get into my seat, completely satisfied.


	6. the fields

For the rest of the ride over to Henry's, Patrick stayed quiet. Which was a bad sign, but a sign either way—and that freaky twig brought it on himself.

Or at least that's what I keep telling myself.

Silently, Patrick stared out the window with an emotionless face, seemingly in his own world. Behind his head, many different trees passed by, going in and out of my peripheral like lightning strikes. But I don't think Patrick was staring at any of them—nor the bushes. Watching him with skepticism, I quietly sized his anger up. Patrick was really pissed off, which was nice to experience since he's the one who stepped in it on his own volition. However, with the inescapable labyrinth that was Patrick's mind and with his incessant tendency to go overboard when getting even, it seemed that I might be in more trouble than usual.

Which means that I stepped in it too.

So, whilst distracted by this tiny detail, I didn't manage to look away in time when those shifty green eyes danced my way. I did, however, realize it when he smiled at me. It was a crooked thing, all teeth and a little bit of gums on his left side.

I opened my mouth, about to ask him why his freaky ass was smiling at me when the car stopped and all conversation briefly ended. I looked forward and quickly realized as everyone got out of the car, that we had arrived at Henry's.

Henry was the first to get out of the car after Belch shut the engine off and pocketed his keys. Henry's boots plopped onto the dirt path below them where they kicked up a bit of dust. He shut the door behind himself just as everyone else—save for Patrick, who was being slow as molasses—quickly got out after him. We all gathered around Henry just as Patrick's shoes finally hit the dirt and the door shut behind him. Without noticing, I scooted out towards Patrick's door, which was immediately slammed in my face. So I, of course, had to pop it back open and climb out. With a bump, my feet hit the dirt driveway and I almost fell into a ditch thanks to my amazing balance that didn't exist.

"Nice balance." I heard Victor comment from my far left

"Hurry up, [Last Name]." Henry hissed "Quit dickin' around."

I scoffed and stood upright almost defensively once I made eye contact with a snickering Hockstetter. I blew some hair out from my eyes and trudged my way over to the front of the car where I stood with the gang.

In front of us, was a house, laid out plain and simple. It was your average farmhouse, with its white and grey color scheme and large surrounding property. Or at least it was large compared to the space around the houses in and around town. I think Henry had once mentioned that it was about 320 acres of land, which supposedly wasn't much but still made it a big property.

Moving on, the house itself had one of those big American flags resting in one of those holders by the porch entrance, along with a rocking chair and a swing on the porch. Around the building were tons of windows, all clean as a whistle with open inner curtains that let the light in. The porch had a flat roof whilst the second floor was covered by a nice triangular one. Also, the back porch was in view from where Belch had parked the Trans Am, and that had a slanted roof that when compared to the front porch was more like a sunroom with all those windows and back glass door. On the side opposite the driveway, rested the chimney that reached high over the roof, though I think it was only—if barely—used in the winter time. And this, is what brought my eyes down and around the driveway. Low and behold, what Henry had said seemed to be right; his dad wasn't home. Well, that and Ol' Butch would've come out to give us some type of scolding by now, just like he always did.

I glanced over the small hill surrounding the driveway, where the ditch was laid out underneath. A little bit further away, sat the old barn. The one I had thought so much about earlier.

"What now?" Victor asks

"You wanna go bottle smashin'?" Suggests Henry "I know where my old man keeps his revolver when he's not home."

Three of us exchanged looks as Henry turned his back on the barn and made his way over to his house. However, Henry stopped midway when he realized we hadn't begun to immediately follow him. He turned back around to look at us with an angry scowl.

"Are you comin' or not?" Henry snapped

"Yeah, we're comin', Hank." Belch replied obediently

Belch trudged after Henry, with Patrick and Victor following close behind him. I, however, stayed behind a moment to stare at the barn a little longer. It looked so lonely in the distance, which was weird for a building. My heart beat slowed more and more the longer I stared, watching as nothing in particular happened with it. I took a moment to think about the barn, and how much time we spent in it. It was one of my favorite places to go when we were younger, with it being such a big place when you're smaller and it's funny how life is like that sometimes.

The longer I watch, the more clear it becomes that something was beginning to creep out of the barn. I couldn't make it out at first with the barn being so far away, so I narrowed my eyes and covered them from the sun like a sailor would when he's trying to spot land. It was a little red blob **(** considering that the barn was about a quarter mile away from where I stood **)** that was emerging out of the barn along with a shadowy hand that held onto it.

"Whaat the fuu..?" I murmur, trailing off

I turned to tell Henry that someone was in his barn. And that was when I heard the explosion. My head snapped back around as I fell back on my ass. I couldn't see anything wrong with the barn at all though, but I was sure what with the explosion and everything that something had happened over there. I glance over at the guys who stare at me with judgemental 'What the fuck is wrong with you today?' kind of expressions.

I open my mouth about to say something, before I realize how crazy all of what I'd just seen sounded. A red blob? How am I gonna explain that to Henry, the most judge-y person on the planet? And Patrick? He'd get such a kick out of it he'd make me feel like such an idiot.

"What the fuck is wrong with you today?" Henry asks, angrily "You've been acting like a freak all fuckin' day!"

I look down at the ground, closing my mouth to avoid sounding like a schizophrenic bitchboy as our great and terrible leader screams at me.

"Sorry, Henry." I apologize

"Maybe [First Name] needs water, Hank." Belch jumps in to save me

Ugh, my hero. My soft marshmello knight, bless thee with the greatest-

"Just get the fuck inside." Henry growls "I ain't got all day."

Belch walks over to me and extends his hand out. I accept it as gracefully as I can with both of mine as Belch pulls me up to my feet and dusts my back off. The others turn around, and a pang fills my chest as I watch Henry turn his back to me.

Why the fuck did he come to me for help if he's was gonna act like he never got it?

"You okay?" Belch asks

"Yeah." I reply, snapping out of my daze "Just dizzy."

I wasn't lying all that much about being dizzy, I was always dizzy—and foggy. My head was just like that, dizzy and foggy on a constant loop every single waking moment. I'd just grown adjusted to it with time. It came with the sleep deprivation and hanging out with Henry Bowers, he could make you tired but not enough to sleep.

Either way, I put a hand on my head to drive my point home. Belch's worried hazel eyes watched me with a kindness I'd only ever seen him show me. He patted my back roughly.

"Let's go get you some water." Belch suggests

"Okay." I reply

We headed inside his house quietly after that.

Going inside the Bowers house was one thing, and another much bigger thing when Butch was home. Though thankfully, he wasn't, 'cause Butch was a scary guy. The kind of scary that only a power hungry cop could be.

Screaming tore through the outer walls of the house; and as Belch and I stepped in through the door, I immediately recognized the screaming voice. The one that was currently bouncing off of the dull living room walls. It was, of course, Henry's scratchy teenager voice.

I glanced over at the brown recliner—the one that had been situated near the door and perfectly in front of the TV. Henry was standing in front of it, gesturing wildly and screaming at Patrick; who was resting in the chair with his head in his hand and with his lanky legs thrown over the arm carelessly. Henry looked like he was pulling his hair out—or like he was going to break down crying at even the mere thought of Patrick being in that chair, but Patrick didn't care. Patrick was too much of a dick too care while I was too much of a soft hearted little bitch.

Patrick eventually interrupted Henry as Belch and I finally took a couple steps inside.

"I just don't see why I gotta move, Hank." Patrick replied "If your old man is out, then he's probably on patrol right? So he's gonna be gone for awhile."

"Just get out of the damn chair, Hockstetter." Belch's authoritative tone boomed

Patrick lifted his hand off his head and drooped it over the arm of the chair so he could turn around owlishly. He watched Belch with a sparkle in his eyes and with a lick of his lips, Patrick smiled a big chaotic smile.

"Oh that'll teach him." Victor's sarcastic tone came from the kitchen

Holding a glass of water in his left hand, Victor approached Belch and I. His steps turning silent thanks to Henry's continuing screaming.

"Who's side are you on anyway?" Belch called

"My own, obviously." Victor replied softly once he got close enough to us

"Figures." Belch rolled his eyes

Victor, with a look of general indifference, turns his attention to me and extends the glass of water out.

"I drank some," Victor tells me casually "Don't have a cow."

I froze like a deer in headlights. My brain went blank as I got lost and forgot where I was for a moment.

" _I need to stay for a little bit._ " Henry says, his voice cracking when he continues with " _Don't have a cow or anything._ "

My reaching hand faltered as images of Henry's body flashed across my mind. The cuts on his shoulders, the bruise on his ribs, the welts on his back, the cigarette burns sprinkled here and there.

"It's tap water." I hear

I shake my head to regain some form of consciousness or another. Even though all I succeed in doing is making myself even more dizzy. I put a hand on my head and looked up at Victor, who still held the drink out to me.

"What?" I ask him, snapping out of it

"The drink.. It's tap water." Victor explains, annoyed

"Oh, okay." I reply, lamely

I accepted the glass of water without another thought and threw it back like a shot, chugging it down as fast as I could.


	7. don't push it

It had taken Henry a bit of time to get what we came here for because Henry got himself busy with an altercation between himself and Patrick. And all because of his dad's chair, of course. Eventually, Henry had gotten so red and veiny in his face that something inside him snapped. In an instant he'd literally picked Patrick up out of the chair and thrown the taller boy onto the floor. Henry jumped on top of him, straddling him, throwing punch after punch as he screeched and screeched until his voice went raw. And that was when Belch left my side with a loud shout of "Hey!"

Now, Belch could move fast when he wanted to, and generally he didn't want to. Although, right now, he didn't look like he felt that like he had too much of a choice.

Belch moved at the speed of light over to Henry and Patrick. He positioned himself behind Henry and got his bearings as fast as he humanly could. He struggled for a moment to wrap his arms under Henry's armpits so that he could pull Henry off of Patrick, who had only just started throwing punches back.

Beet red and hopping mad, Henry starts thrashing around almost the second that Belch touches him. Millions of curses fire out of his machine gun of a mouth, going almost as fast as Belch was.

All the while I just stood on the sidelines in classic bystander fashion, watching dumbly as everything played out. Belch's desperate cries to Henry for him to calm down, Victor's occasional comment, and Patrick's antagonizing words, they don't register in my brain. In fact, the only thing that did register was the oncoming headache that washed over the inner portions—the ones that lay hidden behind the walls of my worn down skull.

I reach up to rub my temple with my free hand as my vision narrows whilst everyone starts yelling and arguing around me—even Vic. How am I supposed to think about anything with all of this screaming and yelling? Do I start yelling too? How am I supposed to do anything with my headache? God, why did I even agree to come here?

Oh right, because _Henry_ chose this time.

 _Henry._

I glanced over at him, my eyes running over his now messed up face. Blood leaked down from his nostrils, down over his lips, and onto his black long sleeved shirt where it disappeared. His lower lip was also split on the right side, but not too badly. His mouth was still opening up wide though and every time he said something it was a raspy yell of a jab that was directed towards Patrick, who's left eye was already starting to swell when he picked himself up off the floor. All thanks to Henry's _legendary_ left hook.

Still though, Patrick was grinning his usual grin when he stumbled up to his feet, now holding his hurt eye.

Peering over at Belch, I watched as he struggled to get Henry over to his opposite side. He obviously wasn't going to flip the shorter boy over his hip, no matter how much he looked like he wanted to. Instead, he just locked his arms up under Henry's, putting him into a full nelson headlock; and just tried to move Henry away from Patrick that way.

But Henry wasn't having it, and that made Belch mad, and Belch yells when he's mad.

I glanced over at Victor who stood off to my left, shouting at Henry and Belch, telling them to calm down. All the while, he would occasionally be throwing in some personally seasoned snips and jabs at Patrick, who was just working to piss everyone off at this point.

Of course nobody was happy with anybody, we'd just gotten into the first brawl of the week. But, eventually they'd get over themselves.

But _when_?

Accidentally, I made brief eye contact with Belch, who now looked beyond exhausted from having to argue and struggle against Henry, who was not going five feet from Point A to Point B without a fight. I continued to rub my temple with my free hand and watch him with drained curiosity as he continues to yell at Henry and Patrick. Slowly, Belch begins to lose his strength against Henry, who had energy for days. And suddenly, before it clicks in my head, I pass my glass over to Victor and hurry over to Patrick, already knowing what to do. I trudge up to him.

"Hockstetter." I say once I get close enough

"Yes, [Nickname]-" Patrick starts

 ** _Smack!_**

Everyone goes silent as Patrick goes down, hitting the ground with an ugly thud as he ends up down for the count. I retract my fist, shaking it with a small wince. The hardest thing about punching Patrick would have to be his boney face, it always made my knuckles hurt. I turned around to look back at the rest of the gang, who stared at me. Finally, Henry gets fed up with Belch holding onto him, and breaks free of his hold. He stumbles over to me and I do my best to catch him. Reflexively, I placed my hands on his upper bicep to catch him, and watched closely as he swiftly shrugs me off with a quick glower.

"Take Henry upstairs, [First Name]." Belch tells me

"I don't gotta go upstairs with nobody!" Henry argued "I can go up by myself!"

"Sure, Henry." I reply "We know that."

Henry whips around with a bitter scowl, and I just observed him with an emotionless expression and what feels like dead fish eyes—because even despite the fog of dizziness that had been lifted off my brain, I was still tired. Henry eyes me angrily, his deep scowl still spread across his face as he glowers at me. Childishly, he crosses his arms over his chest. Henry glances around the room for backup only to see everyone else staring at him the same way as me—save for Patrick, who was still out and Belch who still looked worn down from having to separate us all day.

"Fuckin'- Whatever." He dismisses

Angrily, Henry throws his arms up into the air and storms off over towards and up the stairs. I just watch with the others as he does so, waiting for him to turn around and yell at me, but that moment never comes. Quietly, I glance over at Belch and make momentary eye contact with his worried baby blue eyes. With a small internal sigh, I head over and up the stairs, following after Henry.

The thump of my speedy steps echoes through the near silent house, the only other noise being something that comes out of Belch and is directed towards Patrick, something that Victor agrees with.

Upon reaching the final step, Henry continued on across the upstairs floor. Closely, I watched as I ascended after him whilst he headed into the upstairs bathroom. Hurriedly, I followed after him once I reached the last step, but he simply slammed the door shut in my face when I tried to follow after him. In all honesty though, I probably looked like a lost puppy.

I held my nose for a moment and then took my hand away so that I could check for any blood. Thankfully, though, my nose wasn't bleeding. However a twinge of pain bumped in my chest, catching me by surprise and causing me to slap my hand over it. What the fuck was wrong with me? Did I always have these issues when it came to Henry? And if I did then when did they start? I'd been with the guys for years and yet I still couldn't recall a single time when my chest would hurt like this every time Henry did anything. And yet, this twinge of pain seemed to be the only thing that woke me up from my constantly looping exhaustion, even if it was only for a moment. Even getting punched in the face didn't wake me up _this_ much.

Thoughts spin around in my head, making me dizzy once more as I find myself leaning up against the bathroom door where I give a little knock.

"Henry?" I say, ultimately summoning the beast himself

"I'm takin' a piss," Henry tells me sharply "Don't come in."

"Sure, Henry." I reply before carefully mentioning "I'll just.. wait out here."

"I don't need no goddamn babysitter." He huffs

Moving away from the door, I stepped back over to the wall that was positioned opposite of it. Slowly, I slid down into a sitting position on the floor where I patiently waited for Henry. Casually, I sat with my back against the wall and with crossed legs. A tired arm was rested on my thigh, my elbow digging into it and most likely leaving an imprint there, but hey, it was something that allowed my spinning head to rest. I stared at the floor, looking around for shapes in the wood as I listened to the quiet rustling from inside the bathroom with confusion. What could he possibly be looking for? A stairway to heaven? The entrance to Narnia? Probably not. Unless..

No, that's stupid. Dreams aren't real like that.

I bite my tongue and will myself against asking him questions like "Are you okay?" and "About this weather we're having." Especially since that would only serve to make The Great and Terrible Henry S. Bowers even more angry than he already was. No, instead I sat there and waited for him to come back out of the bathroom. Which ended up feeling like an eternity that I was out there sitting in the hallway waiting for him to finally come out. Part of me thinks that I could swear up and down that I'd aged a couple years while waiting for him, but don't quote me on that.

Finally, though, Henry comes out of the bathroom and I quickly noticed him tugging his long sleeved shirt down over his belly. Confused, I looked up at him. After all, I'd expected to hear less rustling and more.. Eugh. Henry huffs as he stares daggers down at me from where I was on the floor. His shoulders rose up as he tried to make himself look bigger like how small animals would when they felt threatened, but I was already too used to him, so it didn't work on me.

"What are you starin' at?" He snaps defensively "And why the fuck are you on the fuckin' floor?"

"I was waiting for you." I explained

"Whatever." He dismisses "Get up."

Henry wipes the blood under his nose right on his sleeve, which took off a bit of the blood but not all of it. My eyebrows knitted together at this and I took a moment to think to myself before I stood up. If he was in there then why didn't he clean up? And at that thought I remembered how I had to convince him to take a shower last night, and decided against questioning his choices.

I took a moment to dust myself off from the dirtiness that decorated the floor. All before I noticed Henry's sneering self starting to walk off in the direction of the bedrooms. I watched him for a moment, debating with myself on saying anything. What would I even say to him? Should I do what I did last night and convince him? Should I leave it alone and let him deal with it? Well, he'd never deal with it, but the gist was there to be gotten.

I struggled with myself before stuttering out a bit of word soup that got his attention. Henry turned around, now scowling when he looked at me. He looked like a frustrated parent that was tapping their foot as they waited for their misbehaving child to stop doing whatever they were not supposed to be doing. Although, Henry didn't tap his foot, or have a kid. I hoped.

"What?" He snapped

"What about your nose?" I questioned

"What'd'ya mean?" He counters

"Your nose.." I point out "It's.. bloody."

"So?" He huffs "I can fuckin' handle it."

Henry reached up to wipe off more of the blood, this time with his hand. And that was when I heard myself tell him to "Wait here" before I headed into the bathroom and started to look around. He needed to clean up so that he didn't have all that blood on his face, or else his dad would probably bombard him with questions or something. Questions like "What happened to your face" and "It's worse than usual." Or something like that.

Thinking to myself, I found myself looking everywhere. I looked in the bathroom cabinet, above the toilet, behind the mirror, and finally underneath the sink where I found what I was looking for. It was a white washcloth that was positioned right next to.. a boxcutter?

Whatever.

Wordlessly, I pulled out said washcloth from underneath the sink and brought it up underneath the faucet. I did my best to wet it with warm water since Henry would probably end up complaining if it were too hot or too cold. After wetting it, I wrung it out so that it didn't drip too much onto the floor. Carelessly I plopped it down onto the marble corner of the sink top and stepped back out of the bathroom. I weakly gestured for Henry to come in which he begrudgingly did. Bitterly, he walked over to the toilet and put the lid down. Picking up the washcloth, I approached him and gently set my hand down on his shoulder and watched as his face changed from a deep, angry frown to a minor wince. Which was strange because his shoulders didn't seem to hurt him earlier when I touched them. But then again, maybe I just didn't notice? I don't know.

Henry shrugged me off and pushed my hand away.

"Can you be careful? Fuck." He hisses out

"Sorry, Henry." I apologize before asking "Did Patrick hurt your shoulders?"

"It's none of your fuckin' business." He cusses

"Okay," I reply, dumbly

I extended the washcloth out to him and waited for him to take it. However, Henry just stared at it for a moment, looking at it like it was growing human appendages for a moment. All before he looked up at me with a bitterly raised eyebrow and crossed his arms over his chest. Confused, I gesture with the cloth, trying my best to get him to accept it.

"Why the fuck are you always tryin' to fuckin' clean me?" He nearly snits "First a fuckin' shower and now this?"

Without a shred of realization in my head or literally anywhere else, I blurted out a reply to him.

"You needed that shower." I tell him

Suddenly what Henry had just said clicked in my head and I felt my face flush almost immediately. So he did remember last night! And here I was starting to think that I was crazy and imagined the whole fucking thing. Without me noticing, I guess some water drips down onto Henry's jeans, soaking itty bitty holes that begin to gather up together as I just gawk at him like I was stupid and my brain had just cut out. Since it essentially did.

"Wait," I pause "You're serious?"

"About what?" Henry asks, confusedly

One more droplet drips down, and the veins start to show in Henry's face as he gets angry once again. Aggressively, he swats my hands away from him and prompts me to retract the washcloth from where it was originally held out to him.

"Goddammit, get that fuckin' thing away from me!" He complains "It's fuckin' getting me wet!"

Instantly, I shut my mouth in order to ensure that I wouldn't get myself into a fight with Henry or something. Fights with Henry were never fun, and almost always ended up with me walking back to my house in a fit of fizzling fury. And the guys would always have to come get me, calm me down, and convince me to come back.

"Sorry, Henry." I apologize

"And stop fuckin apologizing." He adds "It's fuckin' annoying."

"Right." I reply, automatically

I reach up to rub my tired, dead fish eyes with a single hand, hoping that it would stop them from trying to droop. Henry was really starting to drain me.

"Anything else?" I continue, still on autopilot

Abruptly, I felt Henry stand up in front of me just as I finished rubbing my eyes. And before I knew it, his hands were on my chest, shoving me into the bathroom cabinet. I ended up with my lower back being slugged into the unforgiving ledge. In response, the bathroom cabinet shook behind me, things on it rattling and falling as my weight caused a reaction. Unfortunately, I ended up dropping the washcloth on the floor. All so that I could reach back and catch myself in the best way that I could so that I wouldn't fall down. Even though my legs freaked out when I slipped on the washcloth that went sliding into the sink. And as I fell, I managed to slam the back of my head off of the ledge. And it was then that I was finally down on the ground, hurting and blurry. I released a small noise of pain as I reached up to touch my further aching and desperately spinning head. All the while, Henry carelessly brushed past me.

"Fuck you!" Henry roars "Don't fuckin' start with me, [Last Name]!"

I find a much more aggressive than last kinda pang kicking me in the heart, almost throwing it out of rhythm. My head spins as I struggle to figure out what I said to him that made him so upset, but I couldn't think with all of the spinning and minor blurriness. I brought my other hand up to join the one that was already on my head, and dangled my head into my hands. I listened as Henry's thumping footsteps exited the room and almost reached out to him.

"Sorry, Henry." I push out, automatically

But Henry was already gone out of the room and storming off down the hallway. Now he was possibly even more pissed off than he already was and all because I decided to open my mouth.

Fuck me.


	8. i'm stressed, Henry

My back stung and ached, and I'm willing to bet that I Iooked like an elderly person left without a cane from how I now I struggled my way up to my feet. I had to grab onto the very piece of furniture that I'd originally collided with, all just so that I could pull myself up off the floor.

I had to, obviously, walk hunched over, one hand placed just beneath the aching spot on my back and another hand resting on the back of my head. And that was absolutely _not_ easy with the blurriness in my vision.

Cautiously, I hobbled down the hallway and down the stairs, almost falling a couple times on my way. Thoughts struggled to dance their way around my head as it spinned and spinned, and the only thing that seemed to be acknowledged was that part of me still hadn't processed what had just happened. But, with the constant loop of spinning, I wasn't sure if I would be able to anytime soon.

Everything seemed to get intensified when I got far enough down the stairs to see Belch and Victor, who immediately got even more worried than they already seemed to be. Especially since Victor was quick to stop fidgeting with his nails so that he could push himself off of the wall that he had been leaned up against. All so that he could take a couple steps over to me before I raised a hand up to stop him in his tracks.

Snickers came from beside me, and that was when I looked over and noticed Patrick, who giggled away into his hand.

"What happened to _you_ , Sunshine?" Patrick's snarky voice suddenly asks

I just stepped off of the last step and shot a glare in his direction. I was absolutely _not_ in the mood for his utter bullshit in this current moment. Instead, with a small huff I shoved him out of my way and made sure to slam his shoulder into the stairs whilst I went ahead and wordlessly hobbled past him into the kitchen. Patrick burst out in laughter from behind me and gestured in my general direction, which was quickly interrupted by the boom of Belch's angry voice.

"Shut it, Hockstetter." Belch spits "It's your goddamn fault."

I just continued on, and made sure that I grabbed a cup off of the kitchen island as I passed it. I rounded the counter and made my way over to the sink where I stuck my cup under the faucet. Turning it on, I silently listened to the water running as I mentally ran through all of the events from last night and today, making sure that I stopped to ask myself questions that I didn't know the answer to—questions like "Why me?" and "When can I go to bed?"

After filling up my glass just enough, I shut the water off and turned to the kitchen island. Staring at it as I took a sip, I watched my vision clear up a bit as something wet finally began to slide out of my eyes and down my face. Confusedly, I set my glass down and reached up, wiping my face off as I sniffed. After pulling my hands down, I peered at them, watching the little droplets that had smeared against my palms.

Soon enough, though, I noticed Henry silently coming down the stairs and I almost jumped out of my skin because I was currently positioned in his kitchen, crying to myself because of who knows what. Hurriedly, I wiped the rest of my face off and wiped my hands off on my pants.

Looking back up, I watched Henry as he descended down the stairs, revolver in hand, an angsty look on his face, and a shaking in his movements. Without realizing it, I narrowed my eyes down to a squint to get a better look at Henry. He seemed to have cleaned himself up a bit at some point while he was upstairs. Although, there was still a bit of blood on his wrist from where he wiped his nose.

"What?" I hear Henry snapping

My eyes climbed back up to his face, where I realized that it was yet again me that he was yelling at.

"Stop looking at me like that!" He continues

"Like what?" I asked

It then proceeded to dawn on me as I realized how I probably looked in this very moment with my squinting eyes and pursed lips.

"Oh," I say "Sorry, Henry."

Henry's frown deepens as he turns his head to the descending steps in front of him. Grumbling something that I didn't hear, he went on his way. Henry continues the rest of the way down the stairs, saying nothing more to me as he goes. A pang hits me in my chest, causing me to almost drop my drink.

"Hey Hank." I hear Belch greet from in the living room

"Well, look who's here." Patrick chirped

"If you know what's fuckin' good for ya you'll keep your fuckin' mouth shut, Hockstetter." Henry hissed back

"Easy, Hank." Belch suggests

I turned away from their conversation and instead opted to lean my back against the edge of the counter, which was a bad idea. Immediately, I shot back up, listening closely to my back crying out in protest against my actions. For a moment, I was stupid enough to have forgotten, and for that moment, I was genuinely hurting, not just physically, but for my feelings too.

"We gonna go back out anytime soon?" Victor boredly commented

"Keep your pants on, Vic." Henry huffed "I just gotta grab some bullets."

Steps approached the kitchen as the Bowers' house went silent once more. My heart thumped in my chest painfully as I waited for him to walk past the room I was currently situated in. Internally, I prayed that he wasn't coming in here for the bullets, because the tears had started up again and had sent me into an internalized rage that I didn't plan on taking out on anybody that wasn't Patrick J. Hockstetter. Even if Henry was the one shoving me into things.

The footsteps passed by the entrance to the kitchen, leaving me thankful and fizzling. Still though, a pang kicked up in my chest when he didn't come to see me and I instead found myself wishing that he would try to give some of the comfort back. Because even if I was bad at it, I think I accidentally unlocked something inside me, something that had been hidden away.

But I digress.

Lost in thought, I sipped and sipped my drink until it was gone. Water seemed to be the only way to wash the uncomfortable sadness off of my chest. Even if it didn't have the needed side effects of some if any type booze, it was the best I could do to nurse my literally aching heart since the pangs had bumped up a bit. I walked back over to the sink and filled my glass up once more. The water managed to drown out most of the sounds around me, which is why I didn't notice anybody coming into the kitchen. At least, not until he leaned against the counter and whispered something into my ear.

"So, how are you parents, Sunshine?" Patrick whispered softly

I jumped away, recoiling from his touch as that lighter was once again ignited inside of me. He was lucky that I hadn't thrown another punch that sent him sprawling because he would've hit his head on the counter. Patrick giggled to himself as I split some water on the floor. Water that I almost slipped on.

"What's wrong, [Nickname]?" Patrick teased "Not one for confrontation? That's rich."

I straightened up defensively and mustered up a glare that was always reserved just for the forest floor decoration himself, the one, the only, twig.

"Unless you want a glass to the face or another fight, then I highly suggest you get the fuck away from me." I hissed

"Awh," Patrick pouted "You don't like spending time with me?"

Patrick takes enough steps towards me to where he's able to back me up against the kitchen island. Panicking, I glance around, at the walls, the counter, down at the glass in my hand, everywhere. There was nothing in reach that I could grab onto, _nothing_ , and I couldn't break the glass because Henry would kill me and his dad would beat my corpse until it was unrecognizable.

Desperate, I shout loud enough for Belch and Victor to hear, maybe even Henry.

"Patrick, I swear to God!" I shout "I will give you another goddamn black eye!"

"And what did I do this time, Sunshine?" Patrick calls from the living room "Hurt your feelings by standing in your vicinity?"

 _Wait_.

Wait, wait, wait.

Why is Patrick in front of me if Patrick's in the living room with Belch and Victor?

Slowly, I turn my head back around to look in front of me where I see that same clown from earlier, only this time it had me pinned up against Henry's kitchen island.

I screamed.


	9. losing it

Everything inside and outside of me was on an intense version of autopilot. My heart slammed against my ribcage, the sound pumping in my ears, my blood was running cold yet hot at the same time, my breathing was irregular, my eyes were wide, my body was shaking with every step, and everything— _everything_ was on some version of a cold fire. So, whilst mentally stunted and dangerously awake, I spun right around and climbed on top of the counter.

Temporarily, I cemented a single foot on the countertop so that I could throw my weight just right. And with the sound of a balloon's POP assaulting my ears, I hopped over the counter with the ease of a jackrabbit and swiftly escaped the kitchen. I rounded the corner, my feet tripping me up and almost bringing me to fall as I booked it, sprinting at full speed towards somewhere—anywhere, really. Perhaps out of the house, maybe towards the living room where the guys were—just.. somewheres safe. Somewheres away from where ever that clown _thing_ was that had backed me up against the island, looking like Patrick.

Of course, though, my planless plans were interrupted thanks to Belch's hard chest—that of which I ended up slamming into when I was trying to escape the quite possible wrath of that creepy clown person.. thing.

Almost immediately Belch and I went tumbling down onto the ground just as Victor quietly skidded to a stop behind the two of us. Well, Victor _and_ Patrick, anyway. Patrick was just strolling his way over, his pace slow, calm, and collected.

"Whoa," Victor commented

"Something I should know about?" Patrick chirps from where he was by the stairs

And suddenly, there I was, lying on top of one of my gang mates and closest friends.

Uncomfortably, I lied on top of Belch for a moment as I did my best to regain my bearings. All before I finally pushed myself upwards and into an unintentional straddling position as I rubbed my forehead. The previous situation ended up slipping from my mind once I made accidental eye contact with Belch. And it was then that my eyes widened when I realized what was currently happening.

Quietly, Patrick began to snicker at us and Belch quickly grew rosy. But as my adrenaline began to fade into nothingness, things began to register slowly again. Exhaustion crept up onto my features as I just started to glance around, going between Belch's blushing face, Victor's wild, concerned eyes, and Patrick's mockingbird gaze as he broke out into a fit of giggles.

In that moment, I had almost tried to explain myself. However, I just shut my mouth yet again once I realized how crazy I'd sound to them if I'd told them. A clown that looked like Patrick—a clown that looked _and_ sounded like Patrick, backed me up against the kitchen island—no, _cornered_ me and had just disappeared into thin air without a trace as I ran. It made me drop my glass—

Oh no. The glass. Henry was gonna be pissed

 _Henry_.

Speaking of the devil, Henry's worn down work boots came thundering down the hallway. After speeding down the hallway, Henry abruptly stopped at the kitchen entrance, where he utterly fucking lost it once he peered inside and then over at me who wasn't even facing him. I sensed Henry turning to me, I _felt_ his wild eyes burning holes into the back of my skull, I noted the truly blinding fucking rage seeping off of his body. I knew he was shaking, his body could never handle when he got angry like this. Sometimes, it was just too small for the fury hiding inside of it.

"What the fuck did you do?!" Henry shrieked "My old man's gonna fuckin' kill me!"

I looked down at Belch's chest, hanging my head in shame as Henry exploded from behind me. I swear that if he was anywhere else, he would've put his fist straight through the nearby drywall.

But this was the Bowers' residence. Things were different here.

"Get the fuck in there and fuckin' clean it up!" Henry demanded

Yes, very different.

I didn't even bother with explaining myself, I didn't bother with saying anything. In fact, the only thing I _did_ do, was allow my vision to once again grow blurry. And for a moment, as I yet again allowed thoughts to go around my head and make it spin, I felt myself try to put things on pause.

"Sorry, Henry." I finally apologized

I could hear Henry storming up behind me as I sat there.

"I told you to stop sayin' sorry!" Henry snapped "Get the fuck up off of Belch and-"

Before Henry could get close enough, I had already gone ahead and carefully picked myself up. After standing, I straightened myself up and turned around, much to the protest of my still aching back. Finally I faced Henry, who's face was a bright, firetruck red and was decorated with veins and gritted teeth. I noticed him clenching and unclenching his hands as I took my steps and brushed past him.

But I guess I wasn't moving fast enough because Henry once again shouted at me. Although this time, his tone sounded similar to that of a drill sergeant.

"Move it!" Henry commanded

Once my back was to Henry, he made sure to angrily shove me into the kitchen. I stumbled into the kitchen island where I just barely caught and saved myself from more injuries. And yet, nothing registered.

 _Nothing_.

Henry's boots thumped away from the kitchen entrance.

"Get up." He demanded "We're going outside, I got the bullets."

"What about-" Victor softly started

"I said we're going outside!" Henry interrupted with a boom "Move your ass, Criss!"

"Why don't you order me around, Henry?" Patrick pouted "I just love it when-"

"Hockstetter, I swear to God if you open your mouth one more fuckin time I'll knock your goddamn teeth in through your fuckin skull." Henry threatened

"Promise?" Patrick chirped

As the front door finally slammed shut, I stared down at the marble island counter with my usual dead fish eyes. The pangs were consistent now, making it hard to breathe every moment or so. I brought a shaking hand up and proceeded to notice that it was shaking and instead balled it up into a fist that connected with the counter.

Stupid fucking clown, ruining my life.

Wait, am I going crazy? Is this what that feels like?

Cradling my aching hand, I walked over to the fridge where I picked up the broom and dustpan from where they both resided. Originally, they had been squished between the fridge and the little portion of wall that extended out to protect the fridge—or something. But after I'd picked them up, they became a traveling duo.

Quietly, I brought them over to the mess that I'd made—or rather, the mess that _thing_ had _forced_ me to make—and got ready to sweep. I unclipped the dustpan and dropped it on the floor and began cleaning, doing my very best to get everything nice and tidy. This was mostly just procrastination, though, because I didn't want to go outside and have Henry still be angry at me. So, I ended up sweeping the entire kitchen floor as what felt like emotionless tears crawled down my face.


	10. this isn't right

**_Bang!_**

 ** _Bang!_**

 ** _Bang!_**

The noise of gunfire helped drown out a few of my thoughts here and there before I'd originally finished cleaning up. However, it didn't manage to distract from the pangs that continued to bump behind my ribcage. Since, as previously mentioned, they had become consistent and they really stung and ached. I even had to stop cleaning a couple of times because of them, but what else was I supposed to do?

 _Nothing_. That's what.

Thoughts swarmed my brain as I tried to figure out what they were from. They seemed to be from Henry, but were they really?

 ** _Bang!_**

 ** _Bang!_**

 ** _Bang!_**

The gunshots come back again after a moment and interrupt my thoughts. So, I pretty quickly gave up and decided to simply just live with the possibility that I was having a heart attack or something, all because I couldn't focus long enough to think.

Eventually, I found myself finished up with cleaning. Now at a loss as to what to do, I decided to grab another glass from one of the cupboards and fill it up with water because I needed something else to procrastinate with—something that could distract me from the aching in my chest. So I, of course, decided on drinking some more water, like the good little healthy bitch I was.

Suddenly, I feel the call of nature hitting me. So, after emptying the dustpan into the trash and after putting it back with the broom, I walked out of the kitchen. I guess the water had decided to run through me as quickly as it could. Either that or I'd been inside for longer than I'd originally thought.

Now, the downstairs bathroom wasn't anything fancy. In fact, it was pretty standard, it consisted of a toilet, a bathroom cabinet, a sink, and a tub. So, it essentially was just a rearranged version of the upstairs bathroom that Henry had originally beaten me up in.

I made sure to shut the door behind me before I set my glass down on the counter. Nonchalantly, I unbuckled my brown leather belt, unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans, and dropped them to the floor along with my underwear. It was only then that I went ahead and did my business. Casually, I placed my elbow on the sink and leaned against it as I thought about my aching chest. If I was gonna have a heart attack, shouldn't I have already had one by now? And what if it was something else? What then?

Suddenly, I was interrupted by a knocking that prompted me to jump so high that I almost hit my head on the ceiling.

"So, how are your parents, Sunshine?" The voice of Patrick questions smugly from the other side of the door

The same feeling from before kicks in as my body begins to wake up from its dreaming state once more. I could feel every hair standing up on end as I tensed up and nearly froze in place. That had been what the clown thing had said, right? I wasn't misinterpreting?

"Fuck off, Patrick." I heard myself spit "Don't say shit like that."

"Shit like what?" I heard him teasing "Don't like me asking you about _Mommy_ and _Daddy_?"

It takes me a moment to unlock my joints, but eventually, I'm able to quickly finish up using the bathroom. I clean myself up, I wipe, I wash my hands, and I dry them off on the hand towel next to the sink. All the while an impatient Patrick knocks on the door, doing his very best to coax me out of the bathroom. And I just tried to tune him out, and instead leaned up against the wooden door and took a deep breath in through my nose and prepared myself for a response.

"I don't like you saying anything to me, you evil stick." I counter harshly

I shut my eyes tightly and did my best to clear up space in my worn-down brain, all so that I could weigh my options.

Okay, this was either the real Patrick or that creepy clown thing I keep seeing—that I keep getting _harassed_ by, and although I'm not sure which was worse at the moment, I gotta think. I could either open the door now or hide in the bathtub and risk continuing to look like an absolute fucking psycho.

I ended up choosing the latter.

With a small sigh, I reached for the knob and stepped back so that I could open the door. Immediately, I came face-to-face with the predatory-looking Patrick Hockstetter, who stood there staring down at me as he smiled his usual wicked smile.

Suddenly, it became apparent that I was far too tired to fight with him. Especially when I figured out that it was really him.

"What do you want?" I ask, tiredly

"Glad you asked, Sunshine." He grins

When Patrick reached out to me, memories of this morning and earlier flashed through my brain, along with a couple of others that I often try not to think about. Immediately, I recoiled from his touch and cowered against the sink where my hand bumped against my glass.

"Patrick, don't touch me!" I shouted, "You know I hate it when you touch me!"

Apparently, I still had some fight left inside me, but maybe that was just autopilot kicking in again. I didn't know anymore.

I grabbed the glass and got ready to splash him and book it once again. But that was before a voice abruptly came from behind Patrick.

"What the fuck?" Victor suddenly asks

Patrick stares at me with intense, predatory eyes for a moment. He doesn't say anything for a bit, but eventually, he turned around with a small lick of his lips as he glanced at Victor, smiling with his usual Cheshire cat grin. Victor, of course, watches me for a moment, not being shy about sizing me and my actions up in a scrutinizing manner.

"Nothing, Vicky." Patrick finally says "[First Name] just felt a little sick."

"Bullshit." Victor snaps "Get out."

I stood there for a moment, feeling myself shake and shiver with that glass in my hand. All the while I watched Victor with my usual tired expression and dead fish eyes.

Finally, after a moment or two, Patrick makes his move to shuffle out of the bathroom, I could tell from a distance that his greedy green eyes held annoyance in them, even if he was smiling. It was one of those things I'd learned to be wary of, especially when this was the second time today that I'd pissed off The All-Knowing and Malevolent Patrick J. Hockstetter, and this time it wasn't even on purpose.

Victor watches Patrick as he leaves, somehow patiently ignoring the fact that Patrick made sure to slam his shoulder into Victor's on the way out. Victor makes sure to wait a moment after the front door closes before he finally turns to me. In his own little way, he stepped inside and dug a hand into his pocket. He searched around for a moment, going from pocket to pocket before he realized he'd put his pack in his HELLBOY sweatshirt. He pulled it out, opened it up for me, and extended it outwards. I stared at it much like how Henry had stared at the washcloth, going from Victor's eyes to his hands. This prompted him to gesture with his eyes and his hand when I didn't immediately take one. "Here, you look like you need it." his hazel eyes said to me, talking softly.

I set the glass down behind me and took one. I _did_ need it.

Victor stepped outside of the bathroom and gestured for me to come with him. I took a moment to dump out the glass before I set it back down. I followed Victor, allowing him to lead me outside, over to where the guys had gathered. Victor and I found a nice spot under the Sun and sat down. He pulled out his lighter and lit my cigarette for me.

As I smoked, I looked around the area. Henry was shooting some bottles with his dad's revolver, Belch was over there talking to him, and Patrick was playing with his lighter as he watched from where he sat on the fence of the pigpen.

I took a long drag of the cigarette that Victor had given me and nudged him. Sluggishly, I leaned over to whisper to him.

"You won't say anything about that to anybody.. will you?" I question

It was then that I turned my head and noticed Victor, who was completely frozen in place, staring off in the opposite direction of Henry.

"Victor?" I ask

I heard Henry take another shot at the bottles, but I didn't hear any sort of shattering coming from them.

"What in the fuck are you starin' at, Klondike?"

The rough, gruff voice hits us all in the gut, the feeling being closer to a sucker punch.

 _Butch._

Henry whipped around almost immediately at the sound of his father's voice—everyone did. Quickly, I dropped my cigarette and stepped on it to put it out, twisting my foot to smoosh it.

"What're you doin', boy?" Butch asks, sounding unnaturally calm

Henry stared at the ground, refusing to meet Butch's eyes.

"Cleaning your gun, sir-" Henry answers, softly

"No, you're not." Butch snaps "Give it to me, boy."

Butch quietly extends his hand out to Henry and Henry hands the gun over to him. Everyone is completely silent as Butch raises the gun just enough to shoot near Henry's toes. And I watched with an open mouth and dumbfounded expression as it happened.

 ** _Bang!_**

 ** _Bang!_**

 ** _Bang!_**

Henry cowers behind his arms, hiding his face in his hands as his entire body flinches. Belch and Victor watch with uncomfortable expressions whilst Patrick said nothing. For once again today _,_ Patrick is left silent.

Suddenly, my body reacts against my better judgment and my hand weakly reached out to Henry before it recoiled as another shot rang out.

"Look at 'im." Butch commands "Look at how he hides. Real men don't hide. Is this really the shell of a useless man that you wanna follow 'round all the time?"

I glance around at my surrounding gang members.

" _Is it?_ " He demanded

Victor quietly avoided eye contact with Butch, Belch stood with pursed lips and a fearful and worried look in his eye, and Patrick? Patrick _glared_ , completely refusing to speak—let alone breathe.

Turning my attention forward to Butch, he simply shakes his head with a disappointed and disapproving scoff. He murmurs something that only I seem to hear before he slowly turns around and saunters away.

"Then again, none of you little fucks are men." He murmurs "So what would you know?"

We all stayed silent as we collectively watch Butch head for the house. It feels like an eternity before Butch finally disappears into it, making sure to slam the door shut behind him, and I could swear up and down that people in China could hear the door to the Bowers' house slamming shut.

Fucking asshole.

I fumed and fumed, steam coming out of my ears as I stared at that back door.

I glance side to side, sizing up everyone's individual reactions. Victor was absolutely frozen, Belch was fuming, but Patrick was now a completely blank slate, I couldn't read him at all.

I turned back to look at Henry, who stood there glued right down to the grass beneath his boots. He stared off into the distance, his eyes as empty and hollow as an old oak tree that was starting to die.

I took a step forward and became the first one to take initiative in asking if Henry was okay.

"Hen.. ry..?" I begin slowly, hesitantly

Henry just walked off towards the barn without a single word.


	11. oh Henry

After both Bowers men had left the area, the rest of us gathered up into a small square to talk. Well, at least it felt like a square. I don't actually know what shape it was due to the way everyone was standing.

To the left was Patrick, who's bangs shaded his face from view as he stared downwards. He was clearly fizzling, but was still more focused on flicking his lighter open and shut, rather than talking to any of the rest of us. This, of course, was partially expected since he didn't get to assault me in any manner when he was in the bathroom and assumedly couldn't do the same to Henry's dad. No matter how much he wanted to. And I know he really wanted to. But, I only hurt his feelings. What Henry's dad did would warrant something worse than anything he's ever done to me.

 _Anything he's ever done to me._

Almost immediately, I looked down at the ground and away from his bitter form. I shook my head. Now was not the time for those thoughts to pop up. Now was the time for those thoughts to go right the hell away from me. It never happened—In fact, I don't even know what I'm talking about.

Instead of thinking any longer about _Patrick_ , I looked over to my right, where Victor stood. His eyes were full of bitter anger as he anxiously chewed on his nails which was a little habit that he'd picked up a few years ago. Whenever someone made him mad and he found himself unable to do anything about it, he'd just bite his nails. And normally, Belch would say something about it but at least he wasn't doing other things to himself anymore.

Across from me and between Patrick and Victor, was Belch. And although I didn't hear a word he was saying, he was speaking to everyone softly and it was almost as if he was worried that either Butch or Henry would hear him if he didn't talk quietly enough.

But Butch was inside the house and Henry had disappeared off to the barn.

 _Henry_.

I looked over towards the big red barn that lay behind Belch's head and beyond the fence that Victor was leaned against. The barn was set in the distance still but thanks to the random section of cheap, homemade fencing that Henry had most likely put together himself—which was quite far from the house—said barn wasn't as far away as it could be.

I glanced at the fencing shortly before I looked back up at Belch. Nonchalantly, I reached out to run a hand over the top piece and ended up with a single splinter that I had retracted my hand in order to pull it out. And whilst I did that, for a moment, I thought again about Henry. His dad had shot at him, called him names, and insulted his very being. However, all Henry seemed to be able to do was curl in on himself, then left dead silent. He didn't even fight back.

And that was saying a lot.

Without realizing it, I step back out of the square completely and make my way around Victor. My movements were slow and hesitant. I didn't know what I was doing but here I was doing whatever it was anyway. And I think just about everyone in the sorta-square-gone-sorta-triangle watched me as I continued on my way towards the barn.

"[First Name]!" Belch calls out "Where are you going?"

I barely heard him, but subconsciously replied with a simple shrug. I didn't know, so why would he get to know?

"Whatever, I'm coming with." Victor suddenly decides

Victor's feet slam across the grass as he—for once—hurries over to join me. He, of course, slows down once he catches up to me but by then Belch had also joined in on the idea of following my wandering self to the barn.

"I guess we're doing this now." Belch mentions

Belch jogged after us and followed closely beside us. I didn't know about Patrick, though, and I didn't particularly care. I never did when it came to him. I just continued on my way.

Only by the time when we reached the barn did Patrick seem to creep up behind us. I guess his angry head had finally cleared up enough to a point where he could follow group decisions that _I_ apparently made. Even though I'm pretty sure he hated me because I sure as hell hated him.

We paused at the entrance. Well, at least for a moment anyway.

"So, who's going up there?" Belch asks

"I'll do it." Patrick and I say in unison

Belch glances over to Victor, who simply shakes his head. I turn to look at Patrick, who turns to look at me at the same time.

" _Ohh_ no. Not happening." Victor states firmly "Someone else has to do it."

With a small sigh, Belch returns his gaze to Patrick and I, who were currently engaged in an aggressive exchange of hateful banter. Anger painted both Patrick's face and my face as we glowered at each other. Warningly, we squared up against each other even though deep down inside of me, I was nervous to be this close to him. So nervous that I felt sick.

I _hated_ having to be close to him.

Now that I'd managed to snap out of my initial daze that was either due to the after-party of Patrick being a freak or from any deep rabbit hole of thought that I fell down thanks to my unstable head and my constant thoughts of Henry.

"You're just gonna make it worse." I hiss "You _always_ make it worse."

"And you think you're gonna do any better there, Sunshine?" Patrick prods "Say, what's with the sudden interest anyway? You been sleepin' with him or something?"

Anger boils inside me at the utter assumption. Me? Sleeping with one of my gangmates? Ha! As if!

Unless you count _literally_ sleeping next to Henry.

 _Fuck_.

"Oh, you'd _like_ that, wouldn't you?" I seethe "You sick son of a–"

" _ **Enough**_." Belch interrupts, clearly fed up "Just play rock, paper, scissors or I'll be going up there."

"Ugh, fine." I huff

I push some hair out of my face and stick my hands out, making a fist that I hold above my open palm. I watch closely as Patrick mimics my movements and prepares himself.

"Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!" We say in unison

We pound our fists down onto our palms and in the end Patrick threw scissors and I threw rock.

I won.

With a victorious grin, I continued to glower at Patrick, who glared back at me with glossy eyes and a slightly thoughtful smile.

"I'm doing it next time." He declares

"Sure you are." I dismiss him, waving my hand bitterly

I brush past him, spitefully shoving him out of my way with a hand on his shoulder. I could practically sense Belch shaking his head and Victor taking out his carton of cigarettes and his lighter. And normally I would've bummed one but, I didn't stick around long enough to be able to.

Actually, I don't think he'd even let me have one just because of the mood he's currently in thanks to Henry's _lovely_ dad.

God, I _hated_ Butch.

The barn was pretty empty for the most part, save for the wooden interior holding it together, and the large piles of hay that were scattered about. I glance around as I walk, looking for that ladder that would take me up to the living area up top.

Upon finding it, I climbed up the ladder and did my best to be careful since the wood was starting to age to a point where it wouldn't do that good supporting me—or any of the guys, in fact.

It's a pretty quick climb up and by the time I'm getting close to the top, I manage to come face-to-face with Henry. His arms were crossed over his chest quite tight and he looked all but happy to see me. Henry quietly glared at me from where he stood peaking over the floor.

"What'd' _you_ want?" Henry growls

I place my hand on the little space between the toe of his boot and the edge of the floor. Quietly, I stare up at Henry.

"Came to check on you." I tell him, shortly

Henry snorts disapprovingly and shakes his head. He turns away and throws his arms up in the air before storming over to the mattresses where he sat down, pouting.

"I don't fuckin' need nobody to fuckin' babysit me." Henry spits "So why don't you fuck off?"

I finish climbing up and choose to dust myself off as an excuse to not say anything. I mean, sure, it's not like I had anything to reply with in the first place, but still.

Henry opens the drawer of the nightstand just as I finally straighten back up from dusting off my dirty jeans. I watch blankly as he huffs and picks something up from inside—it being another dead mouse, just as I had suspected. Henry whips it back before swinging it forward and whipping it out the window.

"Stupid _fuckin'_ mice!" He exclaims angrily

Henry reaches back into the drawer, pulling out a baby blue lighter before he loudly slams the poor thing shut. The lantern on top shakes with the force for a moment as Henry snatches the pack of cigarettes off the top and flicks it open. I wait for him, my eyes following his movements as he takes a single stick out, carelessly pulling out a couple others that fall to the ground. After putting it in his mouth and grumbling a few curses more, he throws the pack onto the bed after just barely closing it back up. After he—with a gruff sigh—puts the lighter back down on the nightstand, he had finally lit the cigarette and turned his gaze back to me.

After another long moment of our personal staring match, he snatches the cigarette out of his mouth.

"What the fucking _fuck_ are you still here for anyway?!" He snaps "I _said_ fuck off!"

He turns with a frown, to the window that he'd previously thrown the mouse out of.

"Just fucking go away." He adds, sounding softer

My legs move on their own, bringing me closer to him as he whispers to anyone but himself.

"He'll get mad if he realizes the others aren't up here too." He says softly

Henry quietly scratched his head with his free hand as he took a drag of his newly lit cigarette. He doesn't even look at me—he _refuses_ to. Instead, he just stares out the window, the one he'd thrown the mouse out of.

Actually, he only turns to look at me once I find myself sinking down onto the mattress next to him. Cigarette smoke is blown close to my face as it exits through his nose.

"Why do you keep _fuckin'_ doin' this?" He huffs, clearly annoyed "Second day in a fuckin' row that you're all over me. _Why?_ "

I shrug quietly before reaching out to him, to maybe put a soothing hand on his shoulder or whatever. Just like I'd done last night. It had worked pretty well then, hadn't it?

"You came to see me first." I reply, not really thinking

"Get the fuck off of me." Henry commands, shrugging my hand off the second it sets itself on his shoulder.

"Right." I tell him, now recoiling "Sorry."

"Don't fuckin' apologize to me." He spits "I ain't no kicked puppy."

"You sure are cut like one." A nasally voice suddenly comes from the ladder

Henry just about spins on his heels, steam coming out of his ears as he childishly stomps his foot.

"Hockstetter, I'll fuckin kill you!" Henry spits "I ain't no kicked puppy! And I ain't no _goddamn_ charity case neither!"

Patrick is suddenly dragged off the ladder—much to my satisfaction—and instead is carelessly dropped on his back onto the floor below. It takes a moment of Patrick's wheezing laughter filling the little bit of silence that we had left as Victor climbs up the ladder.

"'Course you aren't, Hank." Belch tells him from down below

After finally making it high enough for his shoulders to come up over the floor, Victor brings them up and creates a makeshift pillow with them. Quietly, he lies his head on them sideways so that the top of his head faces the left. With a big, blank stare, he looks up at an unamused Henry.

"Can we come up yet?" He asks, as if he just wasn't as bitter as he was before I came into the barn "I have weed."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Henry waves a dismissive hand as he takes a final drag of his cigarette

"Sweet." Is all Victor says


	12. break me down

Eventually, when it got dark enough to where the lantern was the only source of light in the barn, Henry kicked us out. Which was a good thing because my now vulnerable head was currently swarming with unwanted feelings and memories. Memories that I hadn't thought of in a while— that I'd been purposely avoiding and drawing thin scars over, hoping that they would thicken with time. However, they never do, because at some point every month or so I'm forced to remember in one way or another.

Together, Belch, Victor, Patrick, and I abandoned Henry there, up in that barn. And while he was the one who originally kicked us out, that didn't mean that part of me didn't want to stay. For the pangs had come back and they grew worse the farther I trudged away from him because even if he slammed me into a counter and even if he shouted at me to go away, that was just Henry being Henry. He was a walking fortress with emotions locked up inside in little metal crates that had been cheaply welded shut.

Thoughts from today and last night joined in with the thoughts of older times, making my stomach churn in an uncomfortable yet familiar kind of way. I just prayed that I wouldn't get sick in Belch's car when we finally got there.

Each of us took turns climbing down the rickety wooden ladder whilst stoned out of our minds and I think it almost caved underneath Belch's weight. But that wasn't important. What was important was the memories that currently suffocated me. I was still messed up from when I was in the bathroom with Patrick and from when Butch shot at Henry.

We all stumbled our way through the dark field and over to the Trans-Am, which was situated in the driveway far behind Henry's dad's car that was pulled up close to the house.

Upon getting close enough, we made sure that we climbed inside and got into our respective spots as casually as we could. All so that if Henry's dad was watching, he wouldn't suspect anything was off since he was pretty much anti-weed and anti-anything mildly fun.

Although this wasn't terribly fun so I guess I sorta get it. But who could turn down a freshly rolled joint? And from _Vic_? Plus, Butch was probably passed out in his chair in front of the TV like he usually was whenever we were there. And that was especially plausible because of how late it was.

To keep with routine, Patrick sat up front in the passenger's seat because he was to be the first one to get dropped off. I, of course, avoided taking his spot as usual and forced myself to climb in through his side. I hated the thought of being any closer to him than I had to be. Really, I did.

Plus that was _his_ spot.

Nobody sat in _his_ spot.

Amy's lights flicked on the second Belch opened his door since he was the first to get to the car. After we all climbed in and shut our doors, he finally put the keys in and turned them and suddenly, the engine roared to life. Before I knew it, Belch was backing out of the driveway and onto the road while I was still trapped in a thoughtful daze that made me want to fucking vomit.

 _"Patrick stop! Don't touch me! You know I hate it when you touch me!"_

I leaned over and rested my elbows on my knees. Sickly, I put my head in my hands and stared at the floor as Belch drove. The drive was helping neither my stomach nor my brain relax at all. For a while, I thought back to when we were in middle school. It was the time shortly after I'd broken Destiny Greene's nose and joined forces with the gang. At the time, we were all at Patrick's house and Patrick and I had gone into the woods to collect sticks so that we could have a small bonfire.

Oh, how I ended up regretting that day.

 _"Oh don't be a scaredy-cat. The others are waiting. What'll they think if you tell them you're going home?"_

Those words echoed in my head for quite some time all the way up until we arrived at Patrick's house. And although it felt like an eternity that we were driving, it was probably only a large handful of minutes. Which is why Patrick always got dropped off first whenever we were coming back into town from Henry's house.

Upon pulling into the driveway of the Hockstetter residence, a looming sense of dread overcame me and I almost puked right then and there. But thankfully though, Patrick was quick to climb out of the car.

The second he got out, I felt a weight getting lifted off of my chest and finally, I released a breath that I think I'd been holding all day. Now calm, I relaxed into my seat.

But then came the thoughts again and suddenly, there was that breath, once again being held.

 _"Remember, [Nickname], if you ever tell anybody about this, I'll kill you. You got that?"_

All the while as I died a little bit more on the inside, Victor seemed oblivious to my suffering—same with Belch. And when we pulled up to the Hockstetter residence, Victor simply busied himself with climbing out as well. I scooted into his place and slouched in my new seat and pushed myself against the door. I was pretty thankful that I was able to get a little bit further away from the evil twig man's cursed ground. Tiredly, I hugged myself as we once again found ourselves backing out of yet another driveway and onto the road.

And just like that, we were taking off with the only source of light being the streetlights and the beaming headlights of the Trans-Am as we drove to the Criss residence. All the while, I did my best to choke down the vomit that threatened to creep up my throat. I couldn't help but wonder what Patrick had planned to do during that time in the bathroom. Even though I was lucky I didn't find out first hand, I couldn't help but rack my brain for a new way that he would seem to get under my skin.

And all because I mentioned church and his mom.

Two things that you do not under any circumstances bring up around Patrick Hockstetter. Especially not at the same time. Yet somehow I had forgotten and all because I wanted to bug him as much as he bugs me—all because I hate him.

Eventually, Victor is dropped off and it's just Belch and I left in the car. With a grumble of "goodbye" as we pass each other, I force myself out of the car and past Victor, who still didn't seem to notice my current condition. Come to think of it, he'd been different ever since he'd seen Butch. He'd been a lot quieter and more interested in hogging the skinny joint he'd rolled.

After climbing into the front seat—uncomfortably, might I add—Belch and I head off to my place. We don't say anything to each other as per usual, at least not until Belch drops me off sometime around what felt like midnight—though it most likely wasn't. He tells me goodbye and everything, which is nice and all, but I don't know if I replied because of my thoughts that had finally swallowed me whole. Desperately, I tried to think about something— _anything_ other than Patrick and Butch.

Still stoned, still sick, and still dazed, I stumbled up to the front door and searched around for the key that I couldn't seem to find. And that's when the realization that my parents must've locked me out again hits me as hard as the already swarming memories. And as Belch pulls out of my driveway and onto the road, finally, I puke. It was a projectile sort of thing that went right into the front bushes as I collapsed onto the cold wood, ending up on my hands and knees.

I guess it was finally time for my monthly breakdown.

I threw up a couple more times before I curled up into a ball on my own front steps. Which seemed to be the best idea I'd had all day—even better than the one I seemed to have earlier when I'd went right on ahead to the barn in order to check on Henry.

The cold around me nipped at my body as I continued to lie there and soon enough I started shaking. Somehow, I still managed to trick myself into sleeping—and by that I mean I passed out because I think I stopped breathing.


End file.
